By: JWBM
This is filled with the fun, carefree life you may or may not have had in your 20s: trendy, flashy, cool, hip—all the lingo and nothing that actually scratches deep below the surface for a second thought. This packs in all the missing memories from a buzz-fueled, adventurous time: shaky camera, emotionless music, dancing, no brains, and a buffet of close-ups of college-age butts. Somewhere in there a darker mystery simmers and then boils into a violent slasher where beauty flourishes and then ultimately dies.
Loads of female victims to punish; smarter-than-the-rest lead; a growing list of suspects; over-protective dad cop. Check, check, check, and check again. The tone is a clash of moods: from party lifestyle, senseless murder, past mystery, to family squabbles. It's great that they attempted to add other avenues, some personality, and potential meaning to the experience, though it feels rushed, unpracticed, and convoluted. I mean, apart from a few actors, a share of the dialogue feels dry and like it was read off of the page. I'm looking at you Randy Couture and his wooden cop companions straight out of the coloring book version of a serial killer on the loose thriller.
I'd be all for this for an easy distraction, except it's like you're actually watching a film that's a carbon copy of fragments of other films, rather than being sucked into something more refined and unique to get lost in. The actual experience is about as disconnected as channel surfing with similar characters on different stations. Unfortunately, "The Row" is an exercise at filling space and killing time, while being forgettable after the credits roll.
Rating: 3/10
Director: Matty Beckerman (Alien Abduction)
Actors: Lala Kent, Randy Couture
Info: IMDB link
Trailer: Youtube trailer
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