The Road (2009)

We're more than the things we surround ourselves with

By: JWBM

In essence, our life can be broken down into a series of moments and stages. The situation now is just a state of time. It can define us, it can strengthen or weaken us; that, or it may even enlighten us, depending on what we're capable of, or how much power we have to persevere. The transitions from one stage into the next are the most challenging aspects we go through. One moment we have both hands free to kiss our loved ones, while at other times we have both hands behind our back and a splinter in our eye to see fully ahead.

In everyday life we are surrounded by other people and opportunities. The sun rises and sets, we can get jobs, and go to the supermarkets on the way home. When something upsets that balance, we must battle our minds still stuck in the previous stage to move ahead. Now, imagine you're in the worst of the worst situation that anyone will ever experience. The World as we know it is slowly crumbling. You look outside and uncertainty for humanity is on the horizon. Who do you turn to? How do you put one worn and unstable foot in front of the other? There's no crutch out there that will fully balance out your next journey. But here we are to live out our next—or last—days.

Over the years, I've seen my fair share of post-apocalyptic films. Even hung around with buddies and talked about how neat the what-ifs would be. "Dawn of the Dead," for instance, made abandoned buildings, brain eaters, and broken dreams kinda cool. It was scary and intense at moments, but you were free, you could shoot off guns, and life was a strange, new adventure. Once the credits finished, you could go back to normal. "Mad Max" had the awesome rides, plus the outfits you could never get away with wearing—well, that is until things turn into a free-for-all. You could be a hero, or join a gang. Both equally cool.

"The Road," however struck me in a different way during and after. It's genuinely bleak, it's nearly hopeless, it's not something you want to happen, even in playful thoughts at the back of your mind. It plays out more in a, "Wow, so that's what it would really be like?" kinda way. You want to vigorously shake the filmmakers and original author by the shoulders and ask them why they took this genre to this extreme. The movie does have some other qualities to it—more grave and serious thoughts to ponder on versus the typical backbone of an entertaining experience.

The premise is simple: a man and his boy hit the roads. Their hazy plan is to head south to get away from the cold, search for food and shelter along the way, and carry a bullet or two just in case they encounter someone who's not one of the "good guys." Hard to tell these days. This takes place when shit has hit the fan, and then trucks with reenforcement shit have shown up to pile it on more. There's also crazed lunatics that are saying screw the fan and just throwing it everywhere. But, guess, what? Who cares anymore? Who's to stop them? It's the equivalent of taking your average family and making them a seasoned homeless person for life with shopping cart and all. The only people left are those that are willing to do just about anything to survive. Anyone who's comfort level, such as the my-food-is-too-cold crowd, did not make it. Anyone who hesitates or puts their guard down for even a few seconds, did not make it, or will not make it for long.

Where the film excels, is it does a great job at self-reflection of what you have and where you're going. It's not outright said, but I couldn't help but feel that way. It's an odd experience watching it unravel as you look around and have adequate shelter, food/water, and security. Take it all away and what's left to fight for? Most of the story is about as depressing as a once happy family dog on its last leg, that just gets worse and worse, and you watch with pity and helplessness as all of the good memories start to fade and are replaced with the present deterioration. The man—as he's plainly called—still reminds the boy, "We have to just keep carrying the fire... The fire inside you."

This is humanity at its darkest hour: from loneliness, depression, murder, suicide, to cannibalism. It's not for the faint of heart. Though sometimes it takes some ugliness to see and appreciate the light. "The Road" has a certain dark poetry to it: from the actors that breathe life into these beaten down characters to the point of seeing them as none other than—Mortensen, as the Man, replaces the dimple-chin charm with a bearded, broken man in tatters—to the cinematography, which expertly shows settings that were once full of people and purpose, but are now just a series of lifeless machinery and wasting away material things. As humans we're more than the things we surround ourselves with. Some of us give up, others take the easy route, but the film—as dark as it is—seems to inspire a sense of near impossible challenge that few other stories come close to.

Rating: 9/10

Directed by: John Hillcoat (The Proposition)
Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron, Kodi Smit-McPhee
Info: IMDB
Trailer: Youtube

Flesh, TX (2009)

Keep your family close and your enemies closer...to your stomach

This is an ultra low budget straight to video horror--camera humming, rushed lighting setups, low dialogue, computer made soundtrack, low key actors: you name it--that revolves around an amoral household in a small Texas town.

They're an oversexualized, overindulgent family of four women and two men: one of them happens to be Sheriff and some of them both daughters and partners. Each visitor that comes across the dwelling meets their end with a hint of barbeque sauce and the tip of a fork. When people aren't coming to them, one of the seductive daughters named Sugar lures 'em in--the bigger the better. Though this time Sugar gets ahold of a bratty little girl who wanted to initially run away from her mother on their way to California. The demented family prepares to cook a little Sunday night treat and go back to their ways with the others in the town all the while remaining hush-hush. Though the mother persists since she doesn't believe her daughter would have gone on a bus and just left like that. The situation acts as a catalyst to break up the family and cause some to question what they've been doing all along.

The tone has moments of being tongue-in-cheek by poking fun at backwoods folks and movies that have exploited the subject, while trying to exploit it further themselves. Sometimes it's meant to be sadistic fun, at others it comes off as far too cartoonish, such as one character wearing an obvious wig or another with a blatant blacked out tooth. This comes in and out of trying to pull your leg and also attempting to be serious, though not always finding a comfortable balance in between. The concept--if you can call it that--feels incredibly short sighted and stretched thin with little to say. Why they're eating people is never made to be a point, so the shock value of it all underwhelms.

A Sheriff that has full control of the town for his own gain has been better outlined and made more believable in even the most throwaway made for TV movie. It makes "Roadhouse" seem plausible because at least you get a better perspective of the town and how it all works. I mean, they're actual tax payers with a corporate brand gas station and an established Sheriff's headquarters, not some place that fell off the map with shoddy construction and outdated cars. They seem fully aware and unsheltered, so what gives? The story is extremely simplistic to the point of feeling like there isn't an actual story as a result of the pacing having its highs and lows and long periods of insignificant activity. If we're to be mindlessly entertained at least pull out enough situations to keep one busy and to forget all shortcomings. Easy fun and formulas are fine, so long as they're steady.

There were a few small glimmers that made it seem like the filmmakers might be on top of things and "had" it, but otherwise this feels like a practicing grounds for those involved. One particular scene went all out with some true weirdness when one of the daughters named Fancy sniffs her hands from greeting a new comer and begins to erotically touch herself as the mother smiles on and the guest looks uncomfortable enough to run on foot to the next state over. The exceptional scenes come too far few and in between, such as two girls cannibalizing a body, only to then drop a piece of flesh from one mouth to the other's.

The accents are there one moment, gone the next; it makes it a challenge to take it seriously when they're actually trying to do so. With little to work with the performances don't always get a chance to stand out enough to be remembered later. Dale Denton, playing the Sheriff, had some inspiration during some scenes either by living on the wild side at home or in charge when in uniform to get everything in order so he can continue with the former. He had conviction in either one but lacked the little touches to bring them together to make sense. Joe Estevez has a small part as the rambling town drunk who wants to come clean but is otherwise only used as a recognizable name. One thing that's appreciated is at least they gave the character of the mother with the missing daughter some strength instead of just getting pushed around like a punching bag or a helpless victim that only screams and trips over her own two feet.

Rating: 2.5/10

From Black to Red recommends instead: "Delicatessen": This French made dark comedy centers on an apartment building in an apocalyptic universe where food is scarce.

Director: Guy Crawford (Starved, Dark Places, Withered One)
Stars: Kathleen Benner, Dale Denton, Joe Estevez, Davina Joy
Link: IMDB

Red Hook (2009)

Can't stay locked away forever

This is a modern day slasher about a girl named Jenny Traylor who had an older sister that was brutally killed when she was younger in front of her. Now as a young adult she's rigid and untrusting, which results in a share of awkward moments when she changes scenery from North Carolina to the fast moving university campus in New York City. Everyone's either a snob, overeager or a prankster with little in between until she meets a down-to-Earth guy named Gavin. He invites her to a small scavenger hunt held by the persistent resident advisor Tim but then fails to show up while her roommate Angela and others she's getting to know arrive--though with me-or-you competition in their sights. The participants have to find an object from clues sent to their phones via "Red Hook," then snap a picture and send it back to get another all before midnight for a grand prize. Eventually another kind of sport is made out of the game when the bodies start to rack up from Jenny's past coming back to haunt her or something else.

After seeing the sister bumped off, this turns somewhat light as if nothing out of the ordinary is going to happen. Though this plays the part a little too much as if it's just the latest, derivative dramedy pilot about one girl's growing pains. Time was spent showing the character's lives on the surface but it still comes off as mundane: Jenny can't find a seat in the lunchroom, her new neighbors pull pranks on her, her roommate is one moment nosey but then the next needs space to perfect her acting chops. This is no "Carrie" in college, that's for sure. The major driving point is about Jenny being afraid to go outside because her sister was killed after running out the door of their home to get away. Something doesn't chime about that as it was such a random, unprovoked attack as to seem a fluke and not something that could be repeated again...until now of course. "Red Hook" presents a far-fetched world where psychos grow on trees and are sent out into the world as an innutritious pang in your stomach. It's like the filmmakers only studied other films by coping their villains and situations instead of starting from the ground up.

To get a momentary reaction the film leaves gaping holes with more questions than answers, which ultimately gives it zero replay value. It tries to be sneaky with its story to keep one from guessing anything outright but the issue is it's to the point of not being able to follow around activities on most of its characters as a few are potential suspects till it gets revealed which one it was at the end. Not to mention the death scenes are delivered quickly and abruptly with no build up prior due to little being shed on what's going to happen. One scene of someone stabbed years ago foreshadows everything that's to come? By the time it gets to the bloodshed the audience long forgot which genre they were watching. Up to a certain point there doesn't seem to be any real danger to fear apart from one character having a general anxiety disorder that appears to come and go. The horror feels oddly misplaced once the bodies start to pile up as even the scavengers are lead to believe it's a joke since one aspect feels only loosely tied with the next. It amounts to a lack of tension and little anticipation past a certain point. The clues they're sent to find are hardly a challenge: most are uncaring employees at businesses who take the scavenger's pictures next to the objects that have little significance to do with anything and feel like padding in between. Maybe if it was an equal part cat and mouse game where the clues could have potentially prevented a death, it could have redeemed itself and made to be more engaging.

There are a share of characters and not enough time to concentrate on them all. As a result, the amount of room for their performances only reaches a middling point with little that stands out as exceptional since they're just caricatures of regular, hip college students: some jerks, some quirky and some you can befriend. The only piece that might have stood out here is the scavenger hunt gimmick, or possibly some unique deaths to make this memorable, but the finale of it all was so over-the-top as to lose the audience with eye rolls and double checks on watches to see how much time they've wasted for something that looked a big bang but only came with little backing power.

Rating: 2.5/10

From Black to Red recommends instead: "April Fool's Day": This '80s slasher came out with a unique concept that keeps one guessing.

Director: Elizabeth Lucas (Clear Blue Tuesday)
Stars: Christina Brucato, Tate Ellington, Bryan Fenkart, Terrence Mann
Link: IMDB

Infestation (2009)

Bugs become boss

A Joe Shmoe desk jockey gets a blessing and a curse when he's moments away from being fired, only to wake up days later wrapped in a cocoon like substance with a giant man size bug that he has to fight off from getting him or his remaining co-workers. The slouching slacker Cooper teams up with the all-work, no-play boss's daughter Sara and some others of various personalities that remember only bits and pieces about that first day. The soon learn that the bugs are blind but have a sensitivity to sound, so the plan is simple: quietly walk to their relatives' residences to see if they're still alive. Easy said, easy done, as some move on and make plans, while others hold on to the past or remain still and become self-centered along the way. To make matters worse, once bitten by one of the bugs, you turn into a spider hybrid zombie that looses all reasoning skills except serving your new master who's building up a stronghold.

The story of "Infestation" is more or less a loose string of misadventures with Cooper at the helm. He jumps around to different places and meets different people along the way that have different ideas as to how to handle the epidemic of bugs: some cooperatively, some forcefully. People are dying like flies and some even backstab or posture over one another, but the atmosphere is still kept on the lighter side due to keeping it as uncomplex as possible and not lingering very long. This is a B movie but the dialogue actually feels measured out and the interaction between the cast seems practiced enough to feel natural than forcing lines. Christopher Marquette, as Cooper, definitely carries this as a leading man with a comic and sarcastic flair for the set of events, rather than going in all tough and charismatic. He's aloof and makes a gross number of mistakes but still manages to hold his own and handle a job that feels doable for his personality.

The effects were actually commendable with either the CG bugs of various design moving about to seamlessly blending the nonphysical and physical together. This is a homage film, so some parts are purposely formulaic and somewhat easy when just referencing and shuffling from place to place. While not overly dramatic, completely original or nail bitting tension filled, the film is still innovative, energetic and a lot of fun in the vain of "Shaun of the Dead" and "Zombieland" but with different creatures that spin cocoons and spill bug guts instead of gore.

Rating: 7.5/10

Director: Kyle Rankin (The Battle of Shaker Heights)
Stars: Chris Marquette, Brooke Nevin, E. Quincy Sloan, Ray Wise
Link: IMDB

War Wolves (2009)

Hip and hairless werewolf soldiers

A group of soldiers bonded by camaraderie get cornered with heavy fire when, instead of getting killed by bullets, they get attacked by Middle Eastern werewolves. Six months later and Jake--under the assumed name of Lawrence Talbot--came back with more than the usual post-traumatic stress disorder. He's suppressing something growing inside with alcohol and living the simple life working in a grocery store and attending AA meetings for his supposed addiction. His former love interest Erika and her two feisty female companions, who were there the day of the attack, are letting the growing beast take hold by giving into impulse. Meanwhile two old timers for the military are tracking Jake but instead of taking him out before the evil gets hold they find he has something good in him and let him be for the time being. The three women and another sidekick guy named Clay, who was once Jake's friend and fellow soldier, want to recruit him. You're either a naughty wolf or a nice one and Jake has to choose which side he's on by either fighting his inner demons or easily giving in to the primal urges.

"War Wolves" starts with one too many story arcs going on at once and on top of that one too many conflicting tones. It wasn't until 40 minutes or so in that you actually know what's going on and even then it's a little shaky. It ends up being a truly simple story but begins a jumbled mess with gratuitous amounts of style, a share of characters that come and go and a back and forth of a quirky type of humor and also a dramatic seriousness all at once. There's nothing wrong with a little mystery, subtlety, personable characters or some diverting fun, but this moves so far ahead of the audience as to leave a smoke trail behind. It tends to jump between scenes and situations that are completely different from the last every five to ten minutes. Some are constructed and built up for a specific segment but between them it feels all over the place. For instance, Jake gets confronted by a loosely mentioned assassin at an out of reach hotel only for the three were-babes to pop out of nowhere and take him with them--next scene has Jake in an alleyway in the city and a fight breaks out between him and the other male werewolf. Care for some continuity? It feels like a series that was edited down for a long preview and on top of that written backwards, so by the time it's coming to its close it will only start to make sense but be a headache before that.

This has a share of personality but it also had the focus and temperament of an ADHD child who was cooped up prior only to be unleashed on a sugar rush that Willy Wonka would be astonished at. The music feels like a public juke box the way a new song will come right after a completely different sounding one prior. If this is a horror movie, then the genre feels dead last to the other genres. The tone is more hip and trendy and intentionally comical than scary. They have tendency to make up their own rules of the werewolf--albeit it's mostly show while little is explained. Such as why there were werewolves in the Middle East and why they didn't just kill the soldiers with their superpowers? No full moon is needed, they can transform at whim and during the day--not to mention they don't grow any additional hair. Half the time they're using guns and mixed martial arts than fighting like beasts. What was the point of growing nails or large teeth? At one point, the creature "make-up" looks like the lion from "The Wizard of Oz" with a painted nose except without trying to be funny about it.

What makes this film a disappointment is there's some potential from the filmmakers. Some of the specific segments momentarily worked but not always in the grand scheme of things. They probably should have made a straight comedy as some of the timing and one liners were on point between the two old soldiers--John Saxon and Tim Thomerson (not believable as fighters though)--and also the odd people at the AA meeting who might have more issues than their past addiction. This has a lot of crafty dialogue that intertwines its words, with some of the characters being able to pull that off while others feel like they're reading something far too prewritten than coming out naturally. Especially when someone doesn't even get a word in while someone else goes on and on...

Rating: 3.5/10

Director: Michael Worth (Killing Cupid, God's Ears)
Stars: Michael Worth, John Saxon, Tim Thomerson, Natasha Alam, Adrienne Barbeau
Link: IMDB

Sand Serpents (2009)

More monstrosities unleashed from man's ambitions

A group of soldiers in a remote area of Afghanistan are checking the viability of a mine when they get ambushed and captured by the Taliban who want to either ransom or execute them. The soldiers are blindfolded inside when suddenly screams and a roar are heard outside and their captors vanish without a trace. They scramble up supplies and head back to their pick up spot to wait it out, when their rescue helicopter gets taken out by a large worm-like monstrosity from beneath the sand. They team up with a friendly local and his daughter to figure out a way to either get to the nearest village or make a call for help, all the while dodging the Taliban, not to mention avoiding getting eaten alive by the huge "Sand Serpents" that got awakened from man tampering below to excavate resources.


This is a basic movie that doesn't feel like anything new to go out of one's way to check out. There aren't enough stand out moments to make this exceptional. If seen in passing as a time killer on TV, you can still depend on it as it moves along painlessly with a recognizable formula with the usual opposing human sides vs something monstrous in the middle. The humorless experience isn't exactly enlightening or impactful, nor is it incredibly charging to make up for that. Why the sand worms all of sudden arrived is mentioned but how they've survived this long is a puzzle better left unsolved since it will show another of its limitations. They show up when they hear vibrations like in "Tremors" and then pop out of the sand to consume someone whole. The first few times it's a sight to behold due to their looming size and ferocity but after a while you can count on them to do the same routine. Not to mention the monsters seem to come and go at their leisure: some points right on top, then at others giving a breather, which so happens to coincide with a dialogue scene. Despite not having eyes, they also know who is a leading star and who isn't the way they'll go right for someone insignificant but then give pause just after heatedly chasing a main character by conveniently leaving themselves wide open for a counter attack. The film reveals too many areas of its blue prints only to end up losing its sense of awe and wonderment.


Instead of the music making this more energetic, it seems somewhat low in volume and on top of that comes with some generic library tunes. The CGI effects are passable for a made for TV Syfy feature in quicker and longer shots with some smooth motion and added detail to their structure, even if they still can't shake that video game-like look. To its credit "Sand Serpents" had a steady pacing that doesn't stall or look back. It's an easy no brainer of a film that's somewhat dialogue heavy by doing a share of the thinking between action scenes about what to do next. There are far too many epileptic-like shaky camera shots that make it disorienting. A share of the shoot outs are of the stand still and fire kind, than moving about to make themselves less easy of targets. The acting feels like a means to an end. It's fair if not exceptional or commanding. The most memorable character, Private Andrews, happens to be the most annoying one with a negative opinion on every little movement and subject. There are moments that make them out to be soldiers whether it be dreaming about back home, complaining about headquarters or actually protecting and serving, though they still carry that glimmer of being comfortable actors on a set.

There's a small amount of subtext with trust and distrust of different sides: Afghans trusting Americans in their country, Americans trusting that some of the Afghans aren't terrorists. But for the meantime, both sides have something else on their hands that's larger than human turf wars. Fortunately the film mainly keeps it on an action movie level than a neck deep political one.

Rating: 4/10

Director: Jeff Renfroe (One Point O, Civic Duty)
Link: IMDB

High Plains Invaders (2009)

A group of unlikely citizens fight aliens in the west

It's 1892 in a little mining town called Avaranth in Colorado. Sam Danville is going to be hanged for various crimes ranging from train robbery to murder when suddenly a spider looking alien attacks the town. It's up to Sam, the shopkeeper, a female bounty hunter, a nurse, an outlaw, a scientist and the Sheriff to fend them off till they can get away, die trying or save the day.

This begins like a "Night of the Living Dead" setup where they get holed up in the Sheriff's headquarters, only to periodically come out when finding a different way to kill one. The situation is looking hopeless as every time a bug is taken out another pops right back in its place like a weed. To make matters worse, a woman is injured inside and the loud mouthed bounty hunter named Rose postures and all the while threatens Sam that she's going to collect on his reward dead or alive. The nurse and Sam are attempting to rekindle their relationship that went sour from something that happened with his criminal history. With the exception of the bounty hunter and the opportunist outlaw that was formerly Sam's friend, the rest attempt to use the situation for redemption and turn into self-sacrificing heroes no matter the cost to save humanity from space invaders who are drawn there for a specific reason.



This is derivative but to its benefit "High Plains Invaders" is short and also painless in that the main characters don't make very many stupid moves, in part to how simple it's kept instead of going well beyond its means like many Sci Fi Channel/Syfy made-for-TV movies have done in the past. The majority of the film is a pretty straightforward from-one-thing-to-the-next type with a little down time to somewhat personalize the characters in between random attacks. The performances are passable, nothing that you haven't seen before with people trying to survive from something attacking them, albeit kept a little more realistic than over-the-top cinematic. The tone at points rides a fine line between trying to be humorous and serious, but usually more of the latter. Their western accents come and go per scene and occasionally come off as a caricature but the simplistic dialogue is still said with some meaning.


"High Plains Invaders" is catered to the neck deep genre addicts who are given a little taste of a gimmick when two genres are combined. If you separated both portions, then this would be left standing with two below average movies, with the final result itself hitting around middle road. The look of the western times comes with some harsher color templates such as grays and browns to make it feel more authentic than characters standing around on a pristine movie set. Science fiction fans have seen what invasions can do in the modern day with countless movies on the subject. But if anything, how the west is utilized here seems to limit the level of intensity and big action scenes as the resources were less than spectacular compared to modern weaponry such as tanks and aircraft. It makes the events seem somewhat basic: run, hide, shoot, plan, fight over what to do. Sure it's not going to be "Wild Wild West" or even "Independence Day" due to restrained budget reasons, but they don't always take advantage of what they have and get as innovative as one would like to make up for the fact. Even their shoot outs are fairly uneventful the way bullets bounce off the large bug creatures' hard backs like it was nothing. Though the projectiles the creatures themselves shoot come with some gaping wounds from being quicker on the draw than their western counterparts. Comparing then and now, it goes to show that humans haven't changed all that much even when aliens enter the picture. Some are good, some look bad but are really good, and some are just plain ugly despite looking good.

Rating: 4.5/10

Director: Kristoffer Tabori (Pursued, The Accidental Witness, Fireball)
Stars: James Marsters, Cindy Sampson, Sanny Van Heteren, Sebastian Knapp
Link: IMDB

Wyvern (2009)

Turning up the heat in Alaska

A large creature awakens from its slumber in a glacier after temperatures warm near a northern Alaskan town called Beaver Mills with a population just over 300...and slowly dwindling. After a serious of deadly accidents in the woods the Chief of police holds a town meeting to report that a predatory "something" was seen flying through the air to everyone's disbelief and annoyance that the town's festival is threatening to be canceled as a result. Speculation is in the air and nothing's set in stone just yet until that something makes a surprise appearance in the open at the worst time when everyone's exposed. It's called a "Wyvern": a dragon from Nordic legend that feasts on a bottomless pit of men's flesh.

The story is somewhat loose after the creature appears and makes everyone scramble in a panic from not knowing what to do till more of a game plan is implemented from learning its weaknesses. They wing it, so a few coincidences come up but these are made out to be real people instead of instinctively combative or over-the-top cinematic by doing complex and impossible maneuvers. Communications are out, escape routes are blocked and for a share of the film they're desperately held up in the diner in the center of town hoping to outsmart an age old beast that only knows how to do one thing: kill. The creature has a one track mind but still keeps it a challenging sport the way it manages to pick off people by hiding and lunging out or adapting the way it hunts.



The atmosphere is somewhat light with its thrills and kept fun than overly serious or nail bitting tension filled. People are killed and the reaction is: "Do that again! But next time bloodier!" Though once the group gets narrowed down to a select few, this reveals some quirky characters and light hearted situations to personalize them. Nick Chinlund, who plays Jake the former truck driver/main hero, managed to pull out an effectively moving scene amongst the playfulness and carnage about his past and what it means for him to stay in the small town. Erin Karpluk, as Claire the waitress, is the second lead with an eye for Jake and an easy going but tough attitude when it calls for it. To its benefit, the filmmakers managed to put together a cast that an audience doesn't mind becoming familiar with for the entire duration. There's the perverted female deputy, radio DJ, old redneck with tales of legends, war veteran who likes his guns, batty old lady who imagines people and others that come and go. The performances are mostly spot on, with a few hiccups here and there, though they still manage to take the movie with measure despite the premise being somewhat outlandish.


"Wyvern" is an easy made-for-TV movie that uses a template that's been done before and knows its plot is ridiculous. Yet they don't even try and hide that fact by taking it too somberly to the point of stepping over its worth or making it overly dramatic. It's still a sincere delivery that's enough to maintain a steady pacing and some charging power that one can get engaged in for a simple bored afternoon diversion where monsters are terrorizing poor, unsuspecting souls and you're sitting comfortably in your living room with a bowl of popcorn.

Rating: 6.5/10

Director: Steven R. Monroe (House of 9, It Waits, Left in Darkness)
Stars: Nick Chinlund, Erin Karpluk, Don S. Davis, Tinsel Korey, Barry Corbin
Link: IMDB

Rise of the Gargoyles (2009)

You thought stealing from a leprechaun was bad

In Paris, a young professor and failed author named Jack Randall goes to an old church at the recommendation of a friend named Carol to check out the architecture before it's to be torn down. They sneak in at night and spot some strange anomalies that are far more ancient than expected. They're chased out by something in the shadows--that was just awakened by two greedy construction workers prior--but not before Carol innocently takes some souvenirs. Out to eat, a person is dropped from above on their car. Then later that night Carol is killed with Jack being the primary suspect with flying creatures from the church out of the question to the skeptical inspector looking into the strange case. As more bodies start to pile up Jack gets the attention of a sensationalist reporter with video evidence and they--including her cameraman and the steadfast priest of the church--make an attempt to put a stop to the creature since no one else believes them.

"Rise of the Gargoyles" feels like the porno of horror films, of course, without the nudity but the rushed feeling and that everything is thrown together to get right to the meat of it (no pun intended) and move on. The film doesn't feel very measured out: awkwardly misaligned camera angles, inconsistent sound, over lit settings, stock music. It's as if they didn't even story board some shots and just winged it half of the time. The physical effects are shoddy and thrown together to say the least. This had two blatant dummy looking bodies limply thrown after they were killed in the beginning. If you've ever seen old episodes of "Married with Children" and how people's stand ins were chucked for comic effect, then this might come with unintentional laughs than incurring any shred of shock value. The revelations of where this is leading about a dangerous creature quickly gaining strength to threaten humans isn't anything new that hasn't been seen before. That might be fine but on top of that the driving point of doing what's right to save the day despite being accused and not treated fairly by others also felt tired and formulaic from being slapped together. A share of it feels lazy and half-hearted: what was the point?

With the exception of Ifan Huw Dafydd playing the inspector--who went well over the mark, as he must have thought he was going to be in the next "Pink Panther" with his over-the-top accent--I feel bad for the performers since a share of the faults were done behind the camera and in the story. They actually try and attempt to inject some personality into it but it's nowhere near enough to save the entirety. This was a weak attempt and I can't say to waste time with it when there's plenty of "Gargoyles" the animated series episodes to mine through, even if it's a repeat.

Rating: 2/10

Director: Bill Corcoran (21 Jump Street, Mutant X, Falcoln Beach)
Stars: Eric Balfour, Caroline Neron, Tanya Clarke, Ifan Huw Dafydd
Link: IMDB

Carny (2009)

A beast as savage as its prey

What makes this made for TV Canadian film shown on the Sci-Fi (now SyFy) Channel--I know, I know "Canadian"--a cut above the usual creature-running-amuck type of B movie is it takes itself somewhat seriously, it lifts part of the screen away when people actually die and there are a few different themes going on at once to give it some meaning. The film carries the usual hit and miss CGI, though it doesn't look entirely thrown together and there are some actual grisly prosthetic gore effects when the immaterial attacks the material. It rushes into a few of its scenarios--especially how it opens up--but the saving grace of "Carny" is it doesn't entirely feel cheap overall.

A carnival hits a small, crime free town called Reliance with a new oddity up its sleeve that's going to be more outrageous and far more dangerous than the usual human deformity. That's because it's not a human at all: a shady and eccentric showman named Cap gets ahold of the Jersey Devil with curious spectators lining up but to the by-the-book Sheriff's unease. The local pastor goes about his usual ramblings, but this time at least he can say "I told you so" when the winged beast escapes to the nearby woods and attacks and kills unsuspecting locals till a full blown creature hunt with every available gun is assembled. If there's ambition with this carnival then it sheds rivers of red and sees through green eyes since Cap and his even shadier assistant are playing along but are currently trying every which way they can to reacquire it for a buyer willing to pay a pretty penny.

Some of the performances are better than others. Matt Murray, as the pastor's son Taylor, plays the tough and rebellious but scared on the inside persona like a caricature. Vlasta Vrana, as the hypocritical pastor, seems to start out somewhat innocently but escalate to someone far more threatening when people actually listen to his incessant ramblings. As the Sheriff Lou Diamond Phillips manages to act naturally but isn't always given opportunity to play a charismatic leading man with so many others gaining side parts around him. Simone-Elise Girard, as Samara the vision seeker and potential love interest, represents someone as a character but is somewhat stiff in her delivery and tone. Alan C. Peterson, as Cap the showman, keeps up both appearances with the shady dealings behind the scenes and not letting himself being found out in the front.

If one can get over there being no build up to acquiring the Jersey Devil and that there was only minimal effort made with explaining how or why it actually exists then this was a somewhat diverting experience. There are some inconsistencies here and there but the pacing is somewhat steady and moves from one thing to next to cover up a few. The film deals with some indifference and how a situation can escalate out of control with the creature as well as the town's folk against their own kind. There's a sense that every other person wants to control the next, anywhere from the pastor's son not being treated as an individual to the assistant of Cap being pushed around despite having capability. It makes you wonder who is more the villain or darker in nature: the Jersey Devil or the thought to be normal citizens with facades. The deaths are actually treated like who was killed was a person. A share come as a surprise as to who gets it next as the filmmakers aren't afraid to kill off their leads, even when there was a scene with drama to establish who they were prior. Not to mention who saves the day gets shifted around with all of the different people who could have done it, which keeps predictability down and anticipation up.

"Carny" is more bleak than it is fun at points and more of the scary moments come from how the humans treat each other than how the beast mindlessly torments them. The Jersey Devil is still kept somewhat obscured at times, that way to conceal where it's going to come flying or creeping in from next. Likely to happen? No. But it goes to show that the deformed and odd looking carnies on the outside are the only ones that don't act monstrous on the inside when they aren't performing.

Rating: 7/10

Director: Sheldon Wilson (Shallow Ground, Kaw, Screamers: The Hunting)
Stars: Lou Diamond Phillips, Alan C. Peterson, Vlasta Vrana, Simone-Elise Girard, Matt Murray
Link: IMDB

Forget Me Not (2009)

Friends: till death do us part

A group of overindulgent teens are living up the party life after high school when they decide to return to the cemetery they used to play a spooky but innocent game at. One person pretends to be a ghost, while everyone else hides and then once caught that person turns into another ghost to go after the rest--last one alive/not tagged wins. There they meet a mysterious girl their age who wants to play, only to be seen jumping over a cliff by another girl named Sandy as soon as she won. She's nowhere to be found, until she shows up to take out those that awakened her in a series of gruesome accidents where each person that she kills everyone else forgets all except Sandy. There are some flashbacks to when Sandy was young and had a bff named Angela who she used to exclusively play with until boys and other more adventurous kids entered the picture. This starts out with some fun and games until Sandy starts to crack up and go into hysterics from none of her friends believing her while certain aspects of their lives get altered like a butterfly effect once someone else is removed from the picture.

This is treated like somewhat of a formula where the bad guy systematically takes out screaming and confused victims that don't have a fighting chance to save their own skin. Once the villains show up, you know their fate is sealed. Like a slasher film: what's going to happen to the characters is predictable but how they get it just before that point comes with some variation. A share of the attacks occur in an isolated or cornered area away from their friends, which makes nowhere safe including walking around in broad day light. Though the only character aware of that is Sandy--even then it's not all put together yet--while the others go about their merry way none the wiser which takes away some of the imminent danger and omnipresence of it all. They're superficial characters that represent a pretty face and body that live life on the edge and in turn get knocked off without a care except for the waste of genes. These are some strange and somewhat unique looking villains--a blend of CG and make-up--that shake, twitch, growl and hiss with gaping mouths and sizable teeth. They don't seem inherent to this particular story but that might just be to keep the viewer from being able to wrap their head around them.

The cinematography, with a crisper picture quality and some wider angles, makes this seem higher budget than it really is. The cast interacts somewhat naturally with each other like they could really be friends, even if they only come with a general outline and limited range: macho/slutty/drunk/high, then for a short period yell, plead or scream when their time comes. The underlying story is a neat idea itself about promises as a friend and then redemption for those that have been slighted in a highly elaborate game of pay back and revenge. Not to mention how it circles back in a roundabout way was an effective twist. What's disappointing is the concept is only taken so far when it doesn't have another driving point apart from including a share of filler scenes that show how these kids live on the wild side. It could have been more effective if they were clued in or have significant reasons to separate from the group and put themselves in danger than accidentally walking into it. Or show that they are more than mere acquaintences. Neither does it make this as thrilling as it could have been when the characters don't have much going for them or little to look forward to even when out of school. The expression "the world is yours for the taking" only took them as far as their parents' wallets, then over to the liquor and condom aisle at the local gas station. Are they missed? Probably not.

Rating: 6/10

Director: Tyler Oliver
Stars: Carly Schroeder, Brie Gabrielle, Cody Linley, Jillian Murray
Link: IMDB

Albino Farm (2009)

Backwoods inbreds meet their intellectual matches from the city

This is based on a real life place that combines religious fanaticism, backwoods inbreds and an urban myth surrounding it when four, clueless youngsters are doing an assignment for rural history and they take a wrong turn into a town called Shiloh that's so remote it's not even on a documented map. On the outskirts they get a flat tire and head over to the local gas station where the blind attendant spouts some gospel mumbo jumbo and warns them about a local legend which makes them only more intrigued to check it out.

Despite their driver, Stacey, having some sense and a desire to play it safe, the rest are just made out to be bonehead, thrill seekers egged on by their resident party animal Brian that leads them to make one stupid move and test one dangerous limit after the next. They find out about the hush-hush legend of the Albino Farm through some locals with odd deformities and an upbringing of their own interpretation of the good book that keeps the fear in them. Not surprisingly they get separated when putting one foot forward before their thought processes can catch up. They're neck deep, with no turning back and now have something more out of the ordinary than the town's folk stalking in the woods after them.

Should they save their friends? Should they run? This isn't exactly challenging stuff but more the characters just dodging, crying and tripping, only to repeat in different variations until a random, all-too-convenient solution shows itself and the curtains close with an ambiguous, use-your-own-interpretation brief summary. It's hard to see one's self in their situation since the majority of their mistakes could have been avoided. The acting gets the job done--if not over, occasionally under--for the type of standard material they're given: low budget, tongue-in-cheek horror with shallow dialogue of the everyday kind till they get to the extraordinary events and then the tears roll and their feet go every which way but the right way. The villains look as expected, along with their straightforward motivation: grotesque to the sight and then sadistic and violent to the teeth. You get what you pay for, no more to be considered new or overly shocking, no less that hasn't been done before that you can count on it.

The performers playing the locals carry the look but not always the right sway of words to put an extra ounce of fear in a viewer or make someone uncomfortable enough to produce real shivers--especially if you've seen even a few for the subgenre. Up and starting actors from other entertainment areas, Richard Christy and Chris Jericho, one playing more of a I-told-you-so jerk than the next, still have some ways before they perfect their acting chops. Christy is somewhat wooden and playing catch up to his lines, though Jericho did better than I thought he would have by changing around his appearance and mannerisms as the town troublemaker. Duane Whitaker, who's been around in the horror scene for a while, tends to reach over the mark but serves his purpose as the local gas station attendant who's either crazy or too right--probably both.

"Albino Farm" starts out with jokes and games, only to make an attempt to be more serious as it goes along. This was too playful and also self-aware of its own faults in one too many areas to be scary, not to mention too quickly paced to give enough setup to be tension filled. The movie moves in a forward motion but this is just too easy to be taken with any bit of lasting integrity or laugh along with it more than a cursory chuckle. To its benefit it doesn't stall or look back but it also doesn't give room to enwrap the viewer in layers of wonderment regarding this tainted, small town and real location of the Albino Farm that they would have otherwise never heard of. Instead it feels stretched thin and turns out to be only a light diversion of the come-and-go, not-to-be-remembered kind after it's over and done due to being kept so formulaic and predictable.

Rating: 3/10

Director: Joe Anderson, Sean McEwen
Stars: Tammin Sursok, Chris Jericho, Richard Christy, Duane Whitaker, Bianca Barnett
Link: IMDB

Nine Miles Down (2009)

Science, superstitions and madness in Africa

The story of "Nine Miles Down" is something in the vicinity of "The Shining" meets "The Thing" meets "The Andromeda Strain" with, of course, their own characteristics and not as overblown of a budget. This is a psychological thriller about an ambitious science project that comes with its share of local superstitions. This is what "The Devil's Tomb" wanted to be from the same year about security sent out into the desert to investigate mysterious happenings at a remote site but then a routine job turns into a life changer with what is found lurking in the shadows.

A lone security officer named Thomas Jackman arrives at a location in Central Sahara, North Africa called Jebel Afra that houses a drilling site. An entire team was supposed to be there but all he finds are empty hallways with puzzling and somewhat disturbing evidence left behind--such as overzealous video diaries, an eviscerated jackal and bloody writing on the walls done by the local superstitious workers--till he runs into a Dr. Jennie Christianson who was a research colleague of the head of their team Professor Borman. She explains Borman was killed by Dr. Ivanov, their chief geologist, and another man named Dr. Varga died of a heart attack.

Despite having a murder investigation on their hands, the company is stretched thin and headquarters wants Jackman to stay put in case others show up but with Christianson somewhat pushy to get out under suspicious reasons. Both are at odds when there is some discussion about science and losing human emotions versus the supernatural and giving into fears, to which Christianson leans towards the former and Jackman the latter. They question whether Hell is a state of mind or actually physical and if it's possible to dig towards it. Apart from their tentative talks, something doesn't add up about her suave demeanor and Jackman interrogates her to find out the truth of what happened and what she's not saying. As he gets more deeply involved the more he can't trust his own perceptions that he's being played and seduced by something evil released from the drilling site nine miles below or is it all in his head from never getting over his wife's death, or possibly both or something else?

There are memorably framed and atmospheric shots of the surroundings that give the isolated setting some personality. This has some pretty effective looking visual effects that take Jackman's hallucinations to abstract levels, such as a continuously endless mirror shot in front and back where some of the images stand still and go with the person's movement while others come alive. The dialogue and delivery has some miscues and misfires on occasion either the way something was phrased awkwardly or came out somewhat too simplistic for what is portrayed. Kate Nauta, who plays the sexy blonde Jennie Christianson, carries the right presence and poses though some of her actual line delivery felt like just that at times without always giving more. Fortunately there were other aspects to cover up for the fact and her character is still able to elude giving away her true nature and motivations. Adrian Paul's character seems to take his performance in stride at first to represent how a normal person would perceive the extraordinary events. Though he slowly--partly due to tight direction and editing--steps it up till there's no looking back from at first being scared of his own shadow to having a full blown, paranoid breakdown that includes maniacal laughs, cries and head grabbing states of confusion from seeing what's really there or not seeing it at all.

"Nine Miles Down" opens up somewhat averagely and downplayed as the tension and atmosphere isn't always constant, but more in the form of periodic intervals with rises and falls of warning tremors. There are some basic areas that aren't as dressed up and other portions that are ineffectual to keep the audience at bay and from guessing the outcome. The ride is still steady, just not a rip roaring adventure till its latter portion when it turns full blown into a psychological pulse pounder of madness and second guesses of who can be trusted. Just when you think it can't get any worse and the storms have subsided, it keeps pulling the viewer back in and leaves one with a few different angles to debate.

Rating: 7.5/10

Director: Anthony Waller (Mute Witness, An American Werewolf in Paris, The Guilty)
Stars: Adrian Paul, Kate Nauta, Amanda Douge, Anthony Waller
Link: IMDB

Blood Ties (2009)

Overeager students, shady faculty and a masked killer in the midst

Back in '85, a reporter named Michael Archer and his significant other were heinously killed. He uncovered a scandal that accused a football coach at Hollow's Pointe University named De Luca and a quarterback named Jake "The Snake" for the Red Devils for accepting a bribe from a rival school to throw the game. Eighteen murders and twenty something years later, a group of students decide to write a paper surrounding the subject to four staff member's panic who still work at the school. They're trying to figure out how to silence the students that made the connection when one of the shady staff gets brutally slain after hours at the school. The group of youngsters put their lives at risk to investigate further, as well as the remaining staff try to stop the slayings in order to save face from their past involvement that's resurfacing. Yep, no one here are police advocates, because their egos might just be bigger than the killer's blade.


"Blood Ties" was no doubt made by a couple of diehard, aspiring movie nerds that are probably so wrapped up in celluloid that the brightest light they've seen in years is the stage light shining down on their locked away set. The result is a pure cinema invention so far gone from the real world that it feels about as overly coincidental and far fetched to be a Scooby Doo like story for adults. Depending how easy you are, it still comes with a quicker pacing and, apart from some confusing plot twists, a share is laid out to do the work for you. These amateur students are brighter than detectives that have been at it for twenty years and connect dots in a short amount of time like it was a cakewalk between their rambunctious partying and jokes.

The performers have moments of being over-the-top and exaggerated and it's hard to say if they're just badly acting or it's on purpose--possibly both--to get an instant reaction from a viewer than a gradual one that will grow. Jason Carter is the most believable of the bunch as their British accented professor named Fredericks who taught them the ropes but is now their rival in the ring. The story feels like it combines parts of an episode of a soap opera murder mystery, a generic slasher, a softcore porno and a trendy National Lampoons movie into one. The tone feels all over the place: one moment cartoonishly surreal, raunchy with sexual references and drugs, the next serious with melodrama and danger, or be it sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek. The filmmakers show they have an array of potential for future projects but it feels like they tried to make several movies at the same time without always being tuned in as to how to put them together cohesively so the audience could get some breathing room and move at the same time as it's speeding by them.


This has a lot of personality but it feels like one too many inside jokes that aren't always enough for outsiders to fully enjoy what's so funny, cool or exciting. Maybe on the third time or with a cast member to shed some light from coming on too hard and too fast the first go. Some are obvious, such as "Star Trek" and "Star Wars" rivalries, but still feel too random and misplaced regardless. A frat party where a guy does magic tricks that converts money and makes a girl's top disappear, had to do with what again? Or just little odd comments and banter that seem to come out of nowhere. Their brand of humor feels like a YouTube video with an actual budget that's more for long time friends and family of the participants that would get them more than a newcomer.

I can see where "Blood Ties" was going: to give a little pep before they get to the usual darker elements, but the late transition over doesn't always make this tension filled, shocking or scary, not to mention the audience could really care less when the characters get knocked off because they were just pure and simple entertainment monkeys prior to switching over tones. After going through the filmmakers channel surfing for the first half, it narrows down to a more serious and steadier picture as shown in the trailer--definitely misrepresented before that--where upstarting ambitions, built up reputations, tarnished pasts and the innocent and guilty have their lives hanging in the balance from an omnipresent homicidal maniac with a mask and superhuman strength. Some answers come about with an over-the-top explanation while others are brushed under the rug for brevity's sake. It includes an ambiguous finale that seems more a sacrifice for getting your senses riled in the direct moment rather than lining up 100%.




Rating: 3.5/10

Director: Nathaniel Nose (Talent)
Link: IMDB

Staunton Hill (2009)

Degenerates and hippies square off in 1969

What makes this horror project from Cameron Romero--George "Of the Dead" Romero's son--a head scratcher, is how do you take something so basic in concept and make it so confusing and jumbled? The direction, editing, cinematography, continuity and character motivation--you name it--are all over the place at times for a story that's just a simple "Texas Chainsaw" outing that takes place some decades ago on a farm with a group of unsuspecting individuals against a family of weirdos that live life on the twisted side for a crazed cause.

Three gals and two guys are traveling through Virginia to get over to the rallies in D.C. in 1969. They hitch a ride with an accommodating guy named Quintin after getting snubbed by passersby and the locals who don't like their colored friend. Quintin's car overheats and they're out of water in the middle of nowhere. They take a shortcut over a hill to get to the highway, only to find a barn that appears to be uninhabited. They stay the night with one couple getting frisky, the other only heating up and the last turning cold when Quintin suddenly starts to act off put like he's anxious for something to happen or just wants to get away.



This takes far too long to establish their story and characters, only to end up with little to say and cardboard cut outs in vacant scenarios for the wait. There are bits and pieces of info scattered about to pick up on but they aren't laid out in a very intriguing or mysterious way to make this engaging. The time period has a few tidbits of terminology dropped, along with social subjects such as animal rights, but then not picked up again or carried over with dual meaning. It made it seem more a gimmick than anything useful, except to possibly dodge modern technology such as cell phones. Not to mention the picture quality looks far too sharp without any added filters to give it more of a warmer or vintage look than a modern one. Some of the motivations of what they're portraying doesn't always line up between scenes, to the point of where it makes it confusing as to what hints you're supposed to be paying attention to for later or not. Their "twist" is obvious from the get-go but then for some reason shown on two separate occasions in flashbacks as if you didn't get it the first time.

Some of the editing has tendency to jump, such as one character doing one thing or in one position and then in the next moved around or gone without explanation. It seems like they bit off more than they could chew with too many people and then couldn't decide which perspective it wanted to concentrate on: the protagonists or the antagonists. Some of the camera angles seem more concerned with the scenery and surroundings than the characters themselves. You don't even get an actual shot of their facial features till much later, which makes them seem less like people than devices to be moved around at leisure. It doesn't exactly make a viewer shake in their boots when they can't see themselves in the same position.


Even when the going gets rough, the characters lack all intuition to put up a challenging fight against a dim wit, obese woman and another in a wheel chair who's an alcoholic no less. A farmhouse with tools and contraptions laying about aren't capitalized on for weapons and then people who travel the country don't have an ounce of survival skills? It makes most of the action scenes anticlimactic and lack tension or anticipation. I've seen more spirit and less bonehead moves from high school cheerleaders in slasher films. They didn't even play up the potential to make them hippy pacifists that realize violence is necessary in certain circumstances. There are flashbacks to the insignificant good and innocent times they shared earlier in the movie as if to be sympathetic, but it makes them seem like they had no life prior to the movie.

The biggest problem with "Staunton Hill" is the filmmakers tend to lose the audience over and over again to the point of being unconcerned even with people getting hurt or when gore is shown. It lacks a central driving point with a tone that feels too general, only to move along in a zig zag that causes one's senses to go haywire from confusion. There is some kind of dry as toast humor thrown in that doesn't help its cause neither. This had potential to be a simple horror film that you can count on but it feels rushed from most likely getting messed up somewhere in the behind the scenes. Not sure what happened but the final result is less than even mildly entertaining or redeeming even for the short time invested watching it.



Rating: 2/10

Director: Cameron Romero (Plant Life, The Screening)
Link: IMDB

In My Sleep (2009)

Sleep kills: trust no one...including yourself

Marcus has a disorder in which he sleep walks and is able to perform different activities--such as getting frisky with different women and dumping them later--but then has no recollection after the fact and usually wakes up naked somewhere else. After regretfully sleeping with Ann--his best friend Justin's wife who is also his boss at the day spa--he sees a doctor who tells him he has a rare condition called parasomnia. The headstrong playboy enrolls in a sex addiction group to calm his pants-open-for-business-24/7 ways but keeps getting distractions from women in the L.A. scene. At his birthday party, with various ladies he can't remember that Justin invited from his address book, he receives an anonymous gift of a knife and a mysterious card. Soon enough he wakes up with bloody hands and that same knife along with the police banging at this door from a 911 hang up call. Justin's wife Ann is dead from stab wounds and all evidence points to him or someone who wants to use or back stab him from screwing them over in the past. And the list is long...

This is more lighter and charismatic than other murder mysterious that travel on the darker side with stern expressions and graver encounters. It's oddly quirky and upbeat with a brand of awkward humor and situations that play it more safe than overly dangerous or gratuitous. It's PG-13, so there's no cursing, nudity and no gore but just blood and suggestion. "In My Sleep" feels like a far-fetched TV pilot with so many various coincidental threads all happening at the same time but the movie has a lot of personality to show for itself in the form of pure entertainment. What helps is there isn't a lot of down time to think if something's exaggerated or not and the gears of the story, editing and direction are usually greased to keep the engine running smoothly.

The emotions and expressions take it more in stride than stepping over to be a straight drama. So while people are getting mishandled and killed, the performers don't always go full fledged, which keeps the pacing lively and moving forward with more to do or say than getting stuck. The main driving point is its mystery element with a series of clues and characters to meet along the way that are kept interesting as well as potential suspects, such as his overly helpful neighbor and a newly met doctor at the meetings. Then there are those that you don't see that might be working in the shadows, along with a past history with the disorder involving nightmarish visions that keep leading to Marcus' late father and off put mother. There are a few overextended scenes, others that overreached and some of the jokes cross the line into sitcom territory without the laugh track. Though there are enough bread crumbs and red herrings tossed about to keep one hungry till the pay off when it all gets unraveled with a few different threads of deceit coming out in the open.

I found this to be an interesting concept, as it's a film--something in the vicinity of "Memento" with memory loss but not as hard edged--where a person can't trust themselves if they'll use others, never mind those around them who they can't trust that will use them back. The tension isn't always palpable and it's an easy popcorn type fare though to its credit it's largely unpredictable and unmuddled. It's not the tightest character study piece but it still comes with some relating aspects to think about with trust and maintaining relationships of friends, family and romance. Not to mention there are plenty of "what would you do if that happened to you?" kind of scenarios that makes this a diverting experience that's definitely worth at least a watch.

Rating: 7/10

Director: Allen Wolf (Harlem Grace)
Stars: Philip Winchester, Tim Draxl, Lacey Spencer, Abigail Spencer, Kelly Overton
Link: IMDB

The Burnt House (2009)

This relationship is destined to burn

Megan and Joe are going through a rough patch in their marriage after their baby accidentally died. Joe carries blame and Megan seeks comfort with another guy named James. Suddenly Joe's mother dies and he suggests they both go out to the house he grew up with in rural Pennsylvania to get away from distractions and start anew their relationship from life in New York City. From then on out the story comes to a slow, dragging, give-me-something-more-for-my-time halt as they figure out what they're doing there except without actually doing much of anything substantial apart from everyday ordeals.

The atmosphere is drab and the storytelling is dismal as you watch the characters loosely go about their tedious habits and then fight and make up over and over again for the course of four long and enduring days that make it feel like months on end or as if time itself is going backwards. Don't we have our own issues to worry about in real life already instead of watching something else unexceptional? There's apparently a curse in the area that makes the husbands homicidal maniacs that go after their family like something out of "The Amityville Horror." Except, the picture hints it's been following around Joe's lineage since his great grandfather but not actually what caused it or what it is exactly that leads them to violence. In between their squabbles, the characters hear some random noises and get nightmares. There are also abrupt cuts to horrific visuals with a burnt face that are strategically placed enough times to feel like signature commercial break montages that you can count on instead of being more frightening. At times they're revealed for the audience's eyes only instead of establishing more foreshadowing with the characters that would grow and be a challenging puzzle to unlock.

"The Burnt House" is a lonely and depressing experience, they got that part down, but it still doesn't turn that around to feel like an engaging diversion since it retreads and goes in mundane circles. Nor does it give something to take away from the experience such as "Downloading Nancy" did for the complex and deep rooted ruination of a relationship that gave progressive stages albeit about a degradative subject. This also isn't "Antichrist" with a couple in the woods trying to figure out their problems from a child dying with enough enigmas to keep the audience intrigued and engaged for unsaid answers that can bring one back again. Not to mention there are periodic narration pieces by Joe placed in to concisely explain the past and present but it seems strange that whenever he speaks to his wife out loud he can't solve the problems at hand. It makes you think it was more a filmmaking shortcut than actually matching the personality of the character. Eventually Megan gets bored and searches the attic for the house's shadowy history, while Joe goes off to who knows where and is getting suspicious of James who is leaving messages on Megan's phone. Instead of getting better, everything is boiling over as Joe is starting to act stranger and stranger and more and more distant from the problems at hand or something else.

If there's any chemistry between the two, it feels more like brother and sister than a former romantic couple. It's as if they ran out of things to say or do together to the point of running the well dry. Why they're together or what they saw in each other to hold on like this, who knows? Not to mention they're literally two of the most average and uneventful people you'd meet since they have no ambitions or other angles to themselves besides the 3 Cs: complaining, cigarettes and a cell phone. The kind that you've met countless times at barbecues and parties and forgot them as soon as you walked away. The main actress Monica Knight does a decent job for what little she's given by acting natural and not as if she's taking someone else's direction or reading someone else's lines like so many do on these little stepping stone projects. J.D. Brown, playing Joe, feels boring and miserable. He delivers his dialogue in such a stale, passionless way as to lose the command of the audience. Maybe that was the point, but then I'd have to ask to what point? He's like an unlikable Silent Bob in the way he slouches around and constantly smokes like a chimney, except when he speaks doesn't carry the charisma to be mysterious, cool or important between the wait from puffs.

Apart from being a drama about a couple on thin ice, this is essentially a haunted area/house film that carries a curse, but the latter is so elusive and buried by other aspects as to lose focus and become confusing for something so simplistic at heart. "The Burnt House," for lack of a large budget, tries to be abstract and stylish. Though with all of the excessive areas of attempted innovation, the film loses a driving point and it ends up bogging down the pacing to the point of feeling excessively tiresome. Even with the melodrama and supernatural events in the midst it fails to keep the audience concerned. The beginning, with its slow and sad montages mixed with kill-yourself-now piano pieces, can't stand still long enough to feel like a film but instead a sampled preview. It's almost like a cologne commercial for the manic depressive consumer. There was also an over-the-top gore scene that was shocking for the first couple of seconds but then went on to make itself desensitizing. There was potential here at its inception and I can see where it was going by doing something heavily moody and different from the same ol', but very little worked towards the filmmaker's benefit and this ambitious project ended up being far worse than a formulaic, run-of-the-mill horror movie that it was distancing itself from. It was a risk because you couldn't have done this halfway, with the final result either being brilliant or falling flat and looking a fluke. This just happened to be the latter.

Rating: 1.5/10

Director: Adam Ahlbrandt (Sight)
Stars: J.D. Brown, Monica Knight
Link: IMDB