Waxwork (1988)

What won't kill you, will only make you...waxier

This is a horror-comedy that's incredibly tongue-in-cheek to the point of poking fun at other thought-to-be sacrilegious horror films and even itself while at it. "Waxwork" is an '80s version of "House of Wax" meets "House of Frankenstein" where all the famous cinematic monsters and more are combined into an experience that gives an assorted buffet of the macabre. It has some trendy tunes, hairdos, phrases and clothing, not to mention makeshift acting, that makes it feel exactly like '88, but that's not to say it doesn't hold up still due to being persistently fun because there are just so many subjects inventively dabbled at once than being merely reference points.

Two college ladies--one seductive, the other reserved--are taking a neighborly stroll when they notice a discreet and ominous building with the sign "Waxwork" that they've never seen before. Suddenly an odd looking man appears, later named Mr. Lincoln (David Warner), with multi-colored dress and invites them to a private midnight showing that includes their friends. They don't know what to expect but show up anyway with two other guys--one spoiled rich, the other token sarcastic--and meet a midget butler at the front door and a tall man who can't get orders right. Seems a joke, right? Yeah, that's what they thought.

In a large showroom they find roped off sections with an assortment of life-like wax statues ranging from Frankenstein, Dracula, Phantom of the Opera, werewolves, axe-murderers, aliens, mummies and even Marquis de Sade. Soon enough some of the observers turn victim when they want to get a closer look at the set pieces and end up getting transported into a changed world where it comes alive. Inside the locked in portal they have to relive the final horror of the depicted waxwork set and then end up being a permanent fixture with none the wiser looking on. After splitting up, the rich kid and prude lose sight of their two friends and are told they left early. Suspicious, Sarah (Deborah Foreman) and Mark (Zach Galligan)--with the help of detectives and Mark's grandfather--find out that Mr. Lincoln had a greater, far more diabolical plan in motion than just enclosing their friends bodies with wax.

"Waxwork" has gags, gore and a sense of adventure. This isn't scary, but it is still pretty gruesome at times with make-up effects and plays on a certain atmosphere that still rolls in the fog, shadows and a gravitating score over top when calls for it. Part of the tone is going for mock theatrics, such as an over-the-top sound effect with just a door opening or someone else not taking a spooky scene at first seriously, that is until they see red. This has some slap stick gags, such as a man tied to a table with the flesh of his leg missing but the nerves exposed and then rats and other people accidentally falling on it. It's ambitious to say the least, but manages to maintain a steady balance to rope a viewer deep down into a well of escapism dwells. Even with all of its homages to every other genre pic under the full moon, it still feels its own experience enough to be more than just a short-lived gimmick for the times.

Rating: 8/10

Director: Anthony Hickox
Stars: Zach Galligan, Deborah Foreman, David Warner
Link: IMDB

Cannibal Campout (1988)

You axed for it

"Cannibal Campout" is an ultra low-budget, straight-to-video, shot-on-video feature with your everyday college students camping in the woods pitted against a few degenerates who have an acquired sweet tooth for debauchery and human flesh. If it sounds like the typical '80s slasher met some cliche backwoods folks, then you wouldn't be very far off the mark.

This is purposely campy and as a saving grace sometimes humorous as a result. This has self-degradation in the form of outright parodying another movie--Friday the 13th, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw, even Top Gun--to being whimsical on its own with certain lines and out-there villains. The music ranges from simple melodies to random keys in a desperate attempt to spice up the not-so-scary mood and paper-thin story line. The acting fluctuates between wooden line reading to nearly pulling off that character. Richard Marcus' character is hands down the most effective due to this kind of crackbrained eccentricity that's in the vein of Chop-Top. There's blood and guts shown mostly in full view instead of the camera pulling away like in a number of "Friday the 13th" sequels due to censor boards.

You can't expect much from these lost, need-an-extensive-map-to-find-'em '80s pictures except to get some kind of brief entertainment or nostalgic value. This could have been cut in half to make an effective short, as there's not much to fall back on as a viewer between all the walking-in-the-woods filler except so many death scenes and some tongue-in-cheek quirkiness that can soon be forgotten after it's over.

Rating: 3/10

From Black and Red recommends instead: "Mother's Day." This is another low-budget flick centered in the backwoods with a couple of sadisitc degenerates tormenting unsuspecting victims. It has a dark sense of humor and scenes worth going back to.

Stars: Jon McBride, Amy Chludzinski, Christopher A. Granger, Richard Marcus
Link: IMDB

Splatter Farm (1987)

Not a faux pas missed

This is another scummy shot on video feature resurrected for DVD that plays on what other more marketable movies of the '80s were too afraid or weren't aloud to show due to moral crusaders at the MPAA. It's a simple film that doesn't have layers and since '87 the shock has been more effectively exploited. At the gory heart of it, "Splatter Farm" plays on taboos: thrill kills, mutilation of the dead, same sex acts with the dead, collecting dead parts, cannibalism, coprophilia, self-mutilation, animal slaughter, flagrant masturbation and, last but not least, incestuous overtones. As amateur and sometimes clumsily put together as it is, it's going to play on a viewer's nerves one way or another.

This truly is a DIY affair with only four main actors who did just about everything else behind the scenes also. Two of them are twins who are visiting their elderly aunt and late teens cousin on an isolated farm for their summer vacation. Their cousin is a make-up wearing sociopath who has no one to stop him from giving in to his sadistic urges. The movie started out pretty unsettling and strange with more focus on the demented cousin with too much time on his hands. As it progressed, it started to give the audience a break and lean towards the level-headed twins who are getting suspicious and attempting to put it all together. The aunt is caught in the middle and starts to make excuses either from blind motherly love or something of her own to hide.

As terrible as the production values go--including fake bodies that wouldn't fool the near-sighted even without their specs--this is unsettling in the dark ideas it brings to the chopping table. This gets right down to the nitty gritty of amoral without hesitation and with the help of the video quality makes you think there could be a case somewhere like this as out there as it is. Instead of lazily stomping on a synthesizer, the music helps stir up some mood by treating certain scenes with piano melodies and other abstract sounds. "Splatter Farm" had a number of flaws, but underneath the atrocious film quality this has what other underground and even mainstream horror films miss out on from time to time: a little bit of genuine creepiness. It could have faired better with a bigger budget and more time but all and all it's worth a single watch if that's your cup of bitter tea, otherwise the movie is more than likely going to be horrendous if you're only used to horror on a bigger scale.

Rating: 5/10

Stars: Todd Michael Smith, John Polonia, Mark Polonia
Link: IMDB

Lucker the Necrophagous (1986)

See you in Hell, you sucker

"Lucker the Necrophagous" is another homicidal horror film from the '80s that gives its sights to Michael Myers all over again, but this time in another country, running on a much lower budget, with less story and the selling appeal from the makers is a sensational one as our depraved guy here has a sexual appetite for the dead.

John Lucker is being held in a minimal security mental ward under heavy sedation from being caught after committing a string of heinous murders. He shrugs off the drugs like it was an aspirin and easily escapes, but not before killing a random guy just to get the feeling back. He wears all black, gloves, shades and slicks his hair--if he had anything more to hide he might be mistaken for a ninja. His dialogue wouldn't even fill a memo but instead he stalks his victims with deadpan focus and a higher intuition, like a refined predatory sixth sense for all the social skills he lacks. Where Jason Voorhees and Freddy initially worked, even if they had no grounds in reality, the character here becomes a caricature of the '80s slasher as there's no grabbing background story and instead the filmmakers play off previous efforts. Trying to scare an audience with a guy who's the epitome of evil--not to mention who's one-dimensional and only skin-deep--all over again isn't as effective as, say, someone you wouldn't expect until it's too late like Rutger Hauer in "The Hitcher," or even a charming looking fellow like, say, Jeffery Dahmer, who's working his macabre hobbies right under society's unsuspecting nose.

One can see gorier films from the Italians back in the '70s, as this has makeshift effects with more blood spraying than gaping wounds. The exploitation part was shocking idea wise--especially how it involved sticky fingers--but ultimately done more effectively in the earlier film "Corpse Mania" from Hong Kong in 1981, as well as with much more believable effects in the later short "Aftermath" with "things" to do with cadavers after their dead. This one looks like a rough-around-the-edges, fake, black blob with a few live maggots on it. Instead of concentrating on story or character development, this attempts to go for atmosphere and mysteriousness, which would be fine except it makes the experience drawn out even at 74 minutes long. Pretending there's something of substance on screen by just subtly panning the camera in hopes to get lucky isn't going to cut it. "Lucker the Necrophagous" is a pointless exercise and not worth the time as there's very little to fall back on, even for someone like myself who watches low-budget genre flicks that have a bit of a nasty side.

Rating: 2/10

From Black to Red recommends instead: "Stage Fright." Another European film that closely follows the slasher template with a blood-crazed psycho on the loose, though this one is able to build some tension from the victims' perspective and also come with some memorable and effective scenes.

Stars: Nick Van Suyt
Link: IMDB

Strange Behavior (1981)

Something funny is going on

This came out during the slasher boom around the early '80s, except "Strange Behavior" dodged the norm from the infamous films of the heyday such as "Halloween," "Friday the 13th" and "Prom Night," as there isn't one killer at large and the murderers aren't cold-blooded psychopaths with twisted pasts, even if their bizarre motivations make them act like maniacal blood fiends.

The continually annoyed and stressed looking local Chief of Police--who never dons a traditional uniform as everything is usually hunky dory--must investigate these mysterious deaths. The strange part is the audience hardly ever witnesses the small town in the grip of fear. Some innocent gets sadistically killed and others go about their lives as if the grass is always greener on the other side with frivolous humor and their regular routines intact. This is the type of plot where there's an "elephant in the room" and only one man detects it, as this focuses on a connection between the Chief, experimenters at the local college and the Chief's late wife fitting right smack in the middle. The story thickens when the Chief's son opposes his stubborn father to make decisions as his own man but gets ensnared by the affiliation.

"Strange Behavior" throws in some distractions to lighten the load from watching violence and blood, such as a subplot between the Chief's son and the newly met, easy-going, blond secretary, as well as the chipper step mother who wants to fill the role of late wife. This takes cues from "Halloween" type killings meets "Altered States"-esque mad science meets "Bond"-like villains meets small town TV mystery/sitcom/love connection. This had the makings to be an esteemed film, though the filmmaker's ambitions were aiming sky high in an attempt to appease a viewer with scenes of the surreal and macabre, as well as the person who wants established, down-to-earth characters, though both sides bump heads to compete and this hardly feels steadily creepy or like it could actually happen as it doesn't fully come together and keep one on the edge of their seat. Even a potential for one last scare wasn't capitalized on. This could have learned from the weirdness that "Dead & Buried" had: to keep the atmosphere alive by feeding throughout.

Rating: 5/10

Stars: Michael Murphy, Louise Fletcher, Dan Shor
Link: IMDB


10 things to learn from "Strange Behavior":

10. Small town America looks oddly similar to New Zealand.
9. If the lights mysteriously go out stay in one spot.
8. Chiefs of Police can drink beer on the job.
7. Horny teenage girls need extra locks on their windows.
6. You don't need doors to operate a car.
5. You don't need dance lessons to have a good time.
4. Don't listen to pretty scientist ladies.
3. Scientists are all a few steps away from madmen.
2. Never, never go back and check a dead person without arming yourself first.

And the most obvious one of all:
1. Never participate in any experiments.

Christmas Evil (1980)

A loopy case of nostalgia

It's a constant challenge to keep up in this competitive and cruel world. Some are born or raised with tenacity, while others become withdrawn from the heavy weight of social pressures. Harry Stadling is a middle aged recluse with intimacy issues who maintains the same ideals he had when he was an innocent kid just learning the ropes. At first this looks like "Taxi Driver" or "Driller Killer" all over again, as the character's ambitions are far from wanting, or incapable of having, the normal life with a dedicated wife, eager kid and white-picket fence house, but the difference here is his mind is stuck reliving a childhood event that still matters dear. Something more like De Niro in the later picture "The Fan" to give a closer idea.

Harry has an obsession with everything related to the greeting card version of Christmas, from counting the days, decorating his apartment, watching parades and even dressing up as the jolly, white-bearded man himself. It's no coincidence he collects toys, works with toys, eats sugary cereal and holds what actions kids do with consequential meaning in written logs because he's mentally one himself. As others start to take advantage of this man-child--who's reserved and has something about him that isn't quite right--he becomes a ticking time bomb ready to go off. As the unlucky ones that learned the hard way from Dirty Harry about being judge, jury and executioner: You don't mess with a man on his own turf.

Instead of being just a straightforward plot about someone ready to commit violence if anything comes between their fixation like some typical slasher, this is a character study that goes through motivations in a quirky, off-beat way and reveals a method to the madness, as unorthodox as that may be. "Christmas Evil" (aka "You Better Watch Out") has a demented sense of dark humor that paved the way for "Silent Night, Deadly Night" to roll with it. There's no denying this has an out there and absurd plot that described in advance can make one either offended, morbidly intrigued or just run the other way (they did manage to dodge religious themes though). What ultimately made this work, was it was capable of balancing out seriousness and a sort of eccentricity while not skipping a beat in between. Its messages got a little too obvious towards the latter part of the film, such as giving reference to Frankenstein about a "monster" in society, but, on the other hand, it also steadily paced itself and kept you in the moment as it went.

Rating: 8/10

Stars: Brandon Maggart, Jeffrey DeMunn, Dianne Hull
Link: IMDB