Flesh, TX (2009)

Keep your family close and your enemies closer...to your stomach

This is an ultra low budget straight to video horror--camera humming, rushed lighting setups, low dialogue, computer made soundtrack, low key actors: you name it--that revolves around an amoral household in a small Texas town.

They're an oversexualized, overindulgent family of four women and two men: one of them happens to be Sheriff and some of them both daughters and partners. Each visitor that comes across the dwelling meets their end with a hint of barbeque sauce and the tip of a fork. When people aren't coming to them, one of the seductive daughters named Sugar lures 'em in--the bigger the better. Though this time Sugar gets ahold of a bratty little girl who wanted to initially run away from her mother on their way to California. The demented family prepares to cook a little Sunday night treat and go back to their ways with the others in the town all the while remaining hush-hush. Though the mother persists since she doesn't believe her daughter would have gone on a bus and just left like that. The situation acts as a catalyst to break up the family and cause some to question what they've been doing all along.

The tone has moments of being tongue-in-cheek by poking fun at backwoods folks and movies that have exploited the subject, while trying to exploit it further themselves. Sometimes it's meant to be sadistic fun, at others it comes off as far too cartoonish, such as one character wearing an obvious wig or another with a blatant blacked out tooth. This comes in and out of trying to pull your leg and also attempting to be serious, though not always finding a comfortable balance in between. The concept--if you can call it that--feels incredibly short sighted and stretched thin with little to say. Why they're eating people is never made to be a point, so the shock value of it all underwhelms.

A Sheriff that has full control of the town for his own gain has been better outlined and made more believable in even the most throwaway made for TV movie. It makes "Roadhouse" seem plausible because at least you get a better perspective of the town and how it all works. I mean, they're actual tax payers with a corporate brand gas station and an established Sheriff's headquarters, not some place that fell off the map with shoddy construction and outdated cars. They seem fully aware and unsheltered, so what gives? The story is extremely simplistic to the point of feeling like there isn't an actual story as a result of the pacing having its highs and lows and long periods of insignificant activity. If we're to be mindlessly entertained at least pull out enough situations to keep one busy and to forget all shortcomings. Easy fun and formulas are fine, so long as they're steady.

There were a few small glimmers that made it seem like the filmmakers might be on top of things and "had" it, but otherwise this feels like a practicing grounds for those involved. One particular scene went all out with some true weirdness when one of the daughters named Fancy sniffs her hands from greeting a new comer and begins to erotically touch herself as the mother smiles on and the guest looks uncomfortable enough to run on foot to the next state over. The exceptional scenes come too far few and in between, such as two girls cannibalizing a body, only to then drop a piece of flesh from one mouth to the other's.

The accents are there one moment, gone the next; it makes it a challenge to take it seriously when they're actually trying to do so. With little to work with the performances don't always get a chance to stand out enough to be remembered later. Dale Denton, playing the Sheriff, had some inspiration during some scenes either by living on the wild side at home or in charge when in uniform to get everything in order so he can continue with the former. He had conviction in either one but lacked the little touches to bring them together to make sense. Joe Estevez has a small part as the rambling town drunk who wants to come clean but is otherwise only used as a recognizable name. One thing that's appreciated is at least they gave the character of the mother with the missing daughter some strength instead of just getting pushed around like a punching bag or a helpless victim that only screams and trips over her own two feet.

Rating: 2.5/10

From Black to Red recommends instead: "Delicatessen": This French made dark comedy centers on an apartment building in an apocalyptic universe where food is scarce.

Director: Guy Crawford (Starved, Dark Places, Withered One)
Stars: Kathleen Benner, Dale Denton, Joe Estevez, Davina Joy
Link: IMDB

Albino Farm (2009)

Backwoods inbreds meet their intellectual matches from the city

This is based on a real life place that combines religious fanaticism, backwoods inbreds and an urban myth surrounding it when four, clueless youngsters are doing an assignment for rural history and they take a wrong turn into a town called Shiloh that's so remote it's not even on a documented map. On the outskirts they get a flat tire and head over to the local gas station where the blind attendant spouts some gospel mumbo jumbo and warns them about a local legend which makes them only more intrigued to check it out.

Despite their driver, Stacey, having some sense and a desire to play it safe, the rest are just made out to be bonehead, thrill seekers egged on by their resident party animal Brian that leads them to make one stupid move and test one dangerous limit after the next. They find out about the hush-hush legend of the Albino Farm through some locals with odd deformities and an upbringing of their own interpretation of the good book that keeps the fear in them. Not surprisingly they get separated when putting one foot forward before their thought processes can catch up. They're neck deep, with no turning back and now have something more out of the ordinary than the town's folk stalking in the woods after them.

Should they save their friends? Should they run? This isn't exactly challenging stuff but more the characters just dodging, crying and tripping, only to repeat in different variations until a random, all-too-convenient solution shows itself and the curtains close with an ambiguous, use-your-own-interpretation brief summary. It's hard to see one's self in their situation since the majority of their mistakes could have been avoided. The acting gets the job done--if not over, occasionally under--for the type of standard material they're given: low budget, tongue-in-cheek horror with shallow dialogue of the everyday kind till they get to the extraordinary events and then the tears roll and their feet go every which way but the right way. The villains look as expected, along with their straightforward motivation: grotesque to the sight and then sadistic and violent to the teeth. You get what you pay for, no more to be considered new or overly shocking, no less that hasn't been done before that you can count on it.

The performers playing the locals carry the look but not always the right sway of words to put an extra ounce of fear in a viewer or make someone uncomfortable enough to produce real shivers--especially if you've seen even a few for the subgenre. Up and starting actors from other entertainment areas, Richard Christy and Chris Jericho, one playing more of a I-told-you-so jerk than the next, still have some ways before they perfect their acting chops. Christy is somewhat wooden and playing catch up to his lines, though Jericho did better than I thought he would have by changing around his appearance and mannerisms as the town troublemaker. Duane Whitaker, who's been around in the horror scene for a while, tends to reach over the mark but serves his purpose as the local gas station attendant who's either crazy or too right--probably both.

"Albino Farm" starts out with jokes and games, only to make an attempt to be more serious as it goes along. This was too playful and also self-aware of its own faults in one too many areas to be scary, not to mention too quickly paced to give enough setup to be tension filled. The movie moves in a forward motion but this is just too easy to be taken with any bit of lasting integrity or laugh along with it more than a cursory chuckle. To its benefit it doesn't stall or look back but it also doesn't give room to enwrap the viewer in layers of wonderment regarding this tainted, small town and real location of the Albino Farm that they would have otherwise never heard of. Instead it feels stretched thin and turns out to be only a light diversion of the come-and-go, not-to-be-remembered kind after it's over and done due to being kept so formulaic and predictable.

Rating: 3/10

Director: Joe Anderson, Sean McEwen
Stars: Tammin Sursok, Chris Jericho, Richard Christy, Duane Whitaker, Bianca Barnett
Link: IMDB

Staunton Hill (2009)

Degenerates and hippies square off in 1969

What makes this horror project from Cameron Romero--George "Of the Dead" Romero's son--a head scratcher, is how do you take something so basic in concept and make it so confusing and jumbled? The direction, editing, cinematography, continuity and character motivation--you name it--are all over the place at times for a story that's just a simple "Texas Chainsaw" outing that takes place some decades ago on a farm with a group of unsuspecting individuals against a family of weirdos that live life on the twisted side for a crazed cause.

Three gals and two guys are traveling through Virginia to get over to the rallies in D.C. in 1969. They hitch a ride with an accommodating guy named Quintin after getting snubbed by passersby and the locals who don't like their colored friend. Quintin's car overheats and they're out of water in the middle of nowhere. They take a shortcut over a hill to get to the highway, only to find a barn that appears to be uninhabited. They stay the night with one couple getting frisky, the other only heating up and the last turning cold when Quintin suddenly starts to act off put like he's anxious for something to happen or just wants to get away.



This takes far too long to establish their story and characters, only to end up with little to say and cardboard cut outs in vacant scenarios for the wait. There are bits and pieces of info scattered about to pick up on but they aren't laid out in a very intriguing or mysterious way to make this engaging. The time period has a few tidbits of terminology dropped, along with social subjects such as animal rights, but then not picked up again or carried over with dual meaning. It made it seem more a gimmick than anything useful, except to possibly dodge modern technology such as cell phones. Not to mention the picture quality looks far too sharp without any added filters to give it more of a warmer or vintage look than a modern one. Some of the motivations of what they're portraying doesn't always line up between scenes, to the point of where it makes it confusing as to what hints you're supposed to be paying attention to for later or not. Their "twist" is obvious from the get-go but then for some reason shown on two separate occasions in flashbacks as if you didn't get it the first time.

Some of the editing has tendency to jump, such as one character doing one thing or in one position and then in the next moved around or gone without explanation. It seems like they bit off more than they could chew with too many people and then couldn't decide which perspective it wanted to concentrate on: the protagonists or the antagonists. Some of the camera angles seem more concerned with the scenery and surroundings than the characters themselves. You don't even get an actual shot of their facial features till much later, which makes them seem less like people than devices to be moved around at leisure. It doesn't exactly make a viewer shake in their boots when they can't see themselves in the same position.


Even when the going gets rough, the characters lack all intuition to put up a challenging fight against a dim wit, obese woman and another in a wheel chair who's an alcoholic no less. A farmhouse with tools and contraptions laying about aren't capitalized on for weapons and then people who travel the country don't have an ounce of survival skills? It makes most of the action scenes anticlimactic and lack tension or anticipation. I've seen more spirit and less bonehead moves from high school cheerleaders in slasher films. They didn't even play up the potential to make them hippy pacifists that realize violence is necessary in certain circumstances. There are flashbacks to the insignificant good and innocent times they shared earlier in the movie as if to be sympathetic, but it makes them seem like they had no life prior to the movie.

The biggest problem with "Staunton Hill" is the filmmakers tend to lose the audience over and over again to the point of being unconcerned even with people getting hurt or when gore is shown. It lacks a central driving point with a tone that feels too general, only to move along in a zig zag that causes one's senses to go haywire from confusion. There is some kind of dry as toast humor thrown in that doesn't help its cause neither. This had potential to be a simple horror film that you can count on but it feels rushed from most likely getting messed up somewhere in the behind the scenes. Not sure what happened but the final result is less than even mildly entertaining or redeeming even for the short time invested watching it.



Rating: 2/10

Director: Cameron Romero (Plant Life, The Screening)
Link: IMDB

Pig Hunt (2008)

Pigs are far out, man

Combining aspects of "Deliverance" with backwoods folks and a sense of adventure, along with "Razorback" and a setting with a life of its own and a legendary creature hiding in the midst, "Pig Hunt" produces a mishmash of genres that's more fun than completely serious with a hippie cult that's both prone to Zen and violence thrown in for good measure.

A man with the fitting name of John Hickman heads out to his late uncle's ranch in the sticks with his girlfriend and three other friends from the city for a hunting weekend. Their first stop is the general store that leads them to the legend of the Ripper--a supposed 3000lb pig--as well as a confrontation with a muscled, sword-wielding guy who looks like an ancient warrior walked into the wrong movie or thought he was at a convention for "Xena: Warrior Princess." The area isn't known for its steady employment, so a share of the dwellings look run down and lived in by dirty, grumpy rednecks who use the local forest for perfecting their aim at the animals.


They tentatively team up with John's two old childhood friends who've since took the path of drugs, alcohol, cruelty, perversion and good ol' hunting in between to everyone else's discomfort. There's a share of posturing with each person thinking they're the best to the point of a who-can-puff-out-their-chest-the-biggest contest rather than who can actually shot the straightest. There's a building tension in the air that could burst at any moment that's both annoying with no one but John and possibly his girlfriend Brooks, who's proving she's got the stuff, to lean on with a backbone. But it still proves to be somewhat engaging as to who or what could set off the balance thinly held together by condescending remarks. Soon enough the boars are called, someone gets injured, human remains and marijuana crops are found, and then ulterior motives come into play. The characters go separate paths and it turns over to a human on human blood sport on someone else's turf. Though there's a third party lying in wait that makes the local degenerates in town look a few steps closer to normal.

The third act feels a little underrealized but still comes as a surprise and carries some mystery about how, where and why. Though it's most likely for the best because the more it's thought about the less it makes logical sense. Some of the transitions and editing have places of awkwardness but a share of events flow from one heated aspect to the next. There's some subtext attempted with John and a past in Iraq but then it's dropped to keep it more in light of exploitation. "Pig Hunt" is not a movie that causes the brain to kick in but hits enough surface sensations to keep the popcorn moving from bowl to mouth without pause unless it's a choke or a what-in-the-heck remark. The quicker pacing doesn't give time to scratch beneath the surface but a number of in-the-now events happen to keep one's attention locked and focused with surprises and a share of uncomfortableness about being so far from home and encountering unwelcoming people that seem like from another place and time. Like "Razorback," the wild boar is shown the least amount while the human characters are developed more till they meet up. Les Claypool, the frontman from the band Primus, layed down the music and played a smaller part as a "preacher" who lets his gun do all of his sermons. The soundtrack is a mixup of almost genreless music apart from itself with unconventional and discordant layers and an almost boondocks feel with an acoustic and gibberish twang.


This is more of an offbeat adventure-thriller than an outright horror, but that doesn't stop it from including point blank injuries and a share of gory wounds anywhere from knees busted in to eyes gouged out. "Pig Hunt" is no doubt an out there story that's about as unlikely to happen than being held hostage by a group of clowns robbing a donut shop with flamethrowers, but this is never short of something bizarrely humorous or to leave one ill at ease, not to mention some individual characters with their own personality to remember, while others can be forgotten but were most likely there to up the body count which us blood-thirsty viewers crave.

Rating: 7/10

Director: James Isaac (The Horror Show, Jason X, Skinwalkers)
Stars: Travis Aaron Wade, Tina Huang, Howard Johnson Jr., Rajiv Shah, Jason Foster, Nick Tagas, Bryonn Bain
Link: IMDB

Dying Breed (2008)

Fact and fiction collide in the backwoods of Australia

This is mostly a formulaic retelling of the backwoods horror film subgenre, though it still comes with some added differences. "Dying Breed" is not trying to be a monumental film or strictly fit in, but include a few tweaks to an already established template. It has the usual amount of taboo breakers such as cannibalism and inbreeding but it plays out as a more gradual and less in your face film compared to others that have amped up the level of atrocities since "Deliverance" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" with some real life legends to make it come more to life...or death however you want to look at it because usually these films come with stacks of fresh corpses.

A prisoner named Alexander Pearce escaped back in the 1800s in Tasmania, Australia. A group of four are trekking out in the wilds to this region in present day to search out the thought to be extinct Tasmanian Tiger--a carnivorous dog/wolf/marsupial hybred with strips on its back resembling a tiger--that hasn't been officially documented in 100 years. A woman on the trip named Nina (Mirrah Foulkes) had a sister that incurred an accident years earlier and she wants to pick up her research where she left off. Her boyfriend Matt (Leigh Whannell) scored a favor from a wild and prankster friend Jack (Nathan Phillips) who also brought along his girlfriend Rebecca (Melanie Vallejo) for the experience. The level of tourism in the area is sparse and the group soon finds some trouble from the male dominated locals with damaged property and snooping eyes.


The next day they head deeper and decide to stay in a cave for the night. At one point they think they spot a Tiger and immediately things turn for the worst when one of them gets attacked and they try and search that person out but get separated. A little girl they encountered back where the locals live suddenly appears along with two other men looking for her with a revelation about Nina's deceased sister. This doesn't play on the usual terrors at first, but instead goes for some mistrust of others and uncomfortableness since they're dealing with strange people in an unfamiliar setting. It plays on an anxiety angle of surviving a set of dire circumstances instead of charging forward with a pounding chest. The issue is you're not always given substantial amounts of scares, action or a lot of collective information to go on at a time since this is aiming more towards being a subtle film. It unfolds in the moment by moment as if it's leading up to something but then that something doesn't fully culminate into making everything you just seen entirely worthwhile since it's partly obvious by the time it gets there. It does have areas that are stretching it but by including that added bit of measurement it attempts to give some authenticity to its plot. That works towards it and also somewhat holds it back. More often than not they strike a balance with some built up anticipation and a level of being trapped by both nature and man by doing all you can to get out.

All and all there are a few twists and turns to surprise or mess with the audience and some stand out scenes to remember for the experience. Though it could have used more of them to truly clench the total package instead of playing it safe on the formula in some areas. There are some jokes, seriousness and caring tones among the roles to give some divided personality. The performances held their own and filled out their respective parts with separation of character. Some parts include charisma without being distracting or over doing it, while others feel like caricatures of their type, such as Jack being the loud and macho kind each time and the boyfriend Matt being the sympathetic crutch for the duration of the film. There isn't much on growth with the characters, as they go in one way, use what they have and remain in that state. This does well with a share of showing rather than telling of its storyline, which steers it away from potential cringe worthy one liners that are usually for the audience's sake but can take one out of the experience. This is still more towards being a tasteful film with the subject matter at hand. The gory scenes aren't always over-the-top but more for necessary shock value, which can leave this somewhat tame for some ravenous gore hounds but still possess terror for the general viewer who's not accustomed to their fellow man being turned inside out.

Rating: 6/10

Director: Jody Dwyer
Stars: Leigh Whannell, Mirrah, Foulkes, Nathan Phillips, Melanie Vallejo
Link: IMDB

Storm Warning (2007)

Don't stray too far from home

"Storm Warning" is an Aussie film that takes on hard-to-mistake characteristics of "Deliverance" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" still some 30 years later. This likewise has the wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time city slickers, the isolated location and who could forget the dysfunctional family to clench the formula.

Are you, or someone you know, the type of person that needs a solid reason to get angry or inflict violence? This film is aimed more at the individual that even when pushed has a tendency to let conflict whiz right over their head. "Storm Warning" takes one regular lawyer and one significant other with spiced up French accent and throws them into a situation that leaves them paralyzed by fear. The first half of the film heads in the direction of "Funny Games" and "The Strangers" with too-timid-for-their-own-good folks pitifully matched up against some really shady, don't-bring-these-guys-home-to-your-mother type of characters. Though the fortunate difference is when the going gets rough, these regular people might find out they have more primitive survival skills in them than they thought.

This has no doubt been done before, so there aren't a load of surprises to unwrap or leave gaping wounds from. Though the film is effective in that it can take the audience out of their comfort zone and give a somewhat disgusted feeling from these crusty-toothed individuals that missed a few key links in the gene pool. "Storm Warning" works more for the individual who maintains a calm environment and isn't too distanced from routine, because for someone who can instantly spark anger or took a few can't-wait-to-try-these-out techniques in martial arts, this film would have been most likely over in 30 minutes. But that's just it, these people seem to represent that gal or guy that you wouldn't recognize in a crowd or read about in the local paper for on-the-spot heroism. This shows that some wear their caveman attire on the outside, while others repress that due to adaptive, modern conditions.

Rating: 6/10

Director: Jamie Blanks (Urban Legend, Valentine)
Stars: Nadia Fares, David Lyons, Mathew Wilkinson, John Brumpton
Link: IMDB

Cannibal Campout (1988)

You axed for it

"Cannibal Campout" is an ultra low-budget, straight-to-video, shot-on-video feature with your everyday college students camping in the woods pitted against a few degenerates who have an acquired sweet tooth for debauchery and human flesh. If it sounds like the typical '80s slasher met some cliche backwoods folks, then you wouldn't be very far off the mark.

This is purposely campy and as a saving grace sometimes humorous as a result. This has self-degradation in the form of outright parodying another movie--Friday the 13th, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw, even Top Gun--to being whimsical on its own with certain lines and out-there villains. The music ranges from simple melodies to random keys in a desperate attempt to spice up the not-so-scary mood and paper-thin story line. The acting fluctuates between wooden line reading to nearly pulling off that character. Richard Marcus' character is hands down the most effective due to this kind of crackbrained eccentricity that's in the vein of Chop-Top. There's blood and guts shown mostly in full view instead of the camera pulling away like in a number of "Friday the 13th" sequels due to censor boards.

You can't expect much from these lost, need-an-extensive-map-to-find-'em '80s pictures except to get some kind of brief entertainment or nostalgic value. This could have been cut in half to make an effective short, as there's not much to fall back on as a viewer between all the walking-in-the-woods filler except so many death scenes and some tongue-in-cheek quirkiness that can soon be forgotten after it's over.

Rating: 3/10

From Black and Red recommends instead: "Mother's Day." This is another low-budget flick centered in the backwoods with a couple of sadisitc degenerates tormenting unsuspecting victims. It has a dark sense of humor and scenes worth going back to.

Stars: Jon McBride, Amy Chludzinski, Christopher A. Granger, Richard Marcus
Link: IMDB

Splatter Farm (1987)

Not a faux pas missed

This is another scummy shot on video feature resurrected for DVD that plays on what other more marketable movies of the '80s were too afraid or weren't aloud to show due to moral crusaders at the MPAA. It's a simple film that doesn't have layers and since '87 the shock has been more effectively exploited. At the gory heart of it, "Splatter Farm" plays on taboos: thrill kills, mutilation of the dead, same sex acts with the dead, collecting dead parts, cannibalism, coprophilia, self-mutilation, animal slaughter, flagrant masturbation and, last but not least, incestuous overtones. As amateur and sometimes clumsily put together as it is, it's going to play on a viewer's nerves one way or another.

This truly is a DIY affair with only four main actors who did just about everything else behind the scenes also. Two of them are twins who are visiting their elderly aunt and late teens cousin on an isolated farm for their summer vacation. Their cousin is a make-up wearing sociopath who has no one to stop him from giving in to his sadistic urges. The movie started out pretty unsettling and strange with more focus on the demented cousin with too much time on his hands. As it progressed, it started to give the audience a break and lean towards the level-headed twins who are getting suspicious and attempting to put it all together. The aunt is caught in the middle and starts to make excuses either from blind motherly love or something of her own to hide.

As terrible as the production values go--including fake bodies that wouldn't fool the near-sighted even without their specs--this is unsettling in the dark ideas it brings to the chopping table. This gets right down to the nitty gritty of amoral without hesitation and with the help of the video quality makes you think there could be a case somewhere like this as out there as it is. Instead of lazily stomping on a synthesizer, the music helps stir up some mood by treating certain scenes with piano melodies and other abstract sounds. "Splatter Farm" had a number of flaws, but underneath the atrocious film quality this has what other underground and even mainstream horror films miss out on from time to time: a little bit of genuine creepiness. It could have faired better with a bigger budget and more time but all and all it's worth a single watch if that's your cup of bitter tea, otherwise the movie is more than likely going to be horrendous if you're only used to horror on a bigger scale.

Rating: 5/10

Stars: Todd Michael Smith, John Polonia, Mark Polonia
Link: IMDB