Man Bites Dog (1992)

Behaviorists take note; casual viewers be forewarned

By: JWBM

This is a loose combination of satire and comedy that's as dark as they come. Going in, one's skin should be impenetrable to the point of being armor plated. The main character candidly jokes about thievery and murder—kids, elderly, midgets—then goes out to celebrate after over a round of drinks. It's cold, it's savage, it's everything the 99% of the population doesn't want to grow up to be, though one can't pull their eyes and ears away for what mayhem and devastation happens next. I mean, take the title: the phrase was coined over a hundred years ago and still persists to this day as to what's favored on the local news. Death and destruction gives rise, it creates fear, it establishes an odd sensation that can become obsessive and replayed in loops. It begs the question: Is that what we want to see? It's what sells, right? I'm here writing about it and you're here reading about it. Consider this round on me.

"Man Bites Dog" comes as a cross between a mockumentary and reality TV episode before the popularity sunk in. Instead of listening to a pretty and practiced newsperson reporting the heinous crimes after the fact, you get to experience them one ugly moment at a time and with motivations to boot. A crew of three follows around a charming Belgium, French-speaking gentleman, who has a lovable mother and grandparents, but also happens to be a professional thief and remorseless serial killer. Benoit, or Ben, as his friends call him, is an anomaly: a sort of likable jerk that's looking for some relatability in acts that are ultimately unrelatable.

Benoit is openly caring and giving to those held closely to his dark heart, but also ruthless and blindly hateful to anyone else convenient enough to shoot or strangle. He's always dressed to perfection. This allows him to go undetected—going as far as taking out a postman in broad day light, and a lonely elderly women at your everyday apartment building. He's full of a strange wit, grab-your-attention anecdotes, and a certain code to it all. But like a spider who carefully places his web to the wind, he tends to control the situation and express bullying demands once someone gets snared.

A portion of "Man Bites Dog" feels structured, while the rest feels loosely improvised. The main actor—Benoit, who uses his real name like the rest of the actors—gives nuance to the character and truly pulls off the many moods of this dominating personality that envelopes those around him into a whirlwind of his unorthodox lifestyle. The rest of the cast, let's just say, are typically thrown in front of the camera and have their ups and downs. Like any candid feature, you get it all: whether it's being shocking or entertaining one moment, light-hearted the next, or just "is." To help solidify the mood of a documentary, it has this unrefined black and white quality, not to mention a share of the shots seem to be predominately real locations.

Once the lights are turned on you won't believe it happened, but with its strengths and imperfections combined, it has a certain swaying power while it pans out. It goes beyond just a simple gimmick to sell another video tape; it has a developed nature to it, and tends to innovate within itself. This is a truly unique venture that came and went with its black magic, but managed to leave a memorable mark behind still being transcribed to this day. It's depraved, it's eye-opening, it's hilarious, it's everything you shouldn't be admitting to being captivated by. But here we are basking in its dark aura. Another round, please. This one is on you.



Rating: 9/10

Director: Remy Belvaux, Andre Bonzel, Benoit Poelvoorde
Actors: Benoit Poelvoorde, Remy Belvaux, Jacqueline Poelvoorde-Pappaert
Info: IMDB link
Trailer: Youtube link

John Dies at the End (2012)

The soy sauce chooses you

By: JWBM

This is based on one of those over-the-top, all-over-the-place books that looks to be unfilmable. Leave it to Don Coscarelli—who spearheaded the "Phantasm" films—to dive into the challenge of taking on this strange world that's full of more story arcs and changes in tone than one can safely type in one sentence... or ten. Though there's a playful consistency to it all that once it starts, you have the urge to see it till the end—and then hope for more.

"John Dies at the End" is a film that explores all of the generally deemed "crazy" ideas that you commonly and not-so-commonly hear thrown about. It's a tale that doesn't believe in normality, coincidences, or space-time for that matter. Instead it delves into the thought-I-saw-somethings, unexplainables that haunt us, what's-in-the-cards theories, or anything fantastical that defies the little you know about this plane of existence. It's "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" had a mutated baby with "The Evil Dead" and threw in some other inherent traits of its own for good measure. Hard to say who did it first. I mean, time as you know it doesn't exist, right?

David Wong—the white guy with an Asian name, who also has the same name as the real author that is also a white guy with an Asian name—has a friend named John who one night decides to take some "soy sauce" given to him at a party by a wannabe Jamaican looking guy calling himself "Robert Marley" of all things. David—the more responsible of the slackers—gets mixed up with said stuff after John calls him in a desperate panic from the experience being unlike any other drug he's taken. It's the kinda chemical that doesn't carry a warning label or approval from any organization you've heard of. Did I mention a giant bug was crawling on the wall, a random dude appears in his back seat that wasn't there before, and the dog suddenly starts to talk and can drive a car? Soon enough, trouble finds David and John and they evolve into a sort of tag team of paranormal guys with a penchant for just shrugging off all the weirdness. Just think if "Ghostbusters" downsized the quality and mentality of the team, and then stepped up the strangeness and maturity levels of the content.

This is a diverting experience that throws earthy behaviors, mannerisms, and normal ways of life into a washing machine that didn't separate its colors. The film is tongue-in-cheek and self-deprecating. It takes itself seriously, then in the next instant slaps you and itself in the face like another Stooge rose from the grave to freak everyone out. It's just a wild, zany ride of good, weird fun that can be watched on repeated occasions for not losing that magic touch of insanity. This is out-there, but far from challenging. The plethora of information does a pass-by of your brain, rather than stops and gets processed further. In its favor are endless surprises that are ultimately unpredictable. If you find it to be, you might be on the sauce yourself.

Rating: 8/10

Director: Don Coscarelli (The Beastmaster, Bubba Ho-Tep)
Actors: Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Paul Giamatti
Info: IMDB link
Trailer: Youtube link

Blood Ties (2009)

Overeager students, shady faculty and a masked killer in the midst

Back in '85, a reporter named Michael Archer and his significant other were heinously killed. He uncovered a scandal that accused a football coach at Hollow's Pointe University named De Luca and a quarterback named Jake "The Snake" for the Red Devils for accepting a bribe from a rival school to throw the game. Eighteen murders and twenty something years later, a group of students decide to write a paper surrounding the subject to four staff member's panic who still work at the school. They're trying to figure out how to silence the students that made the connection when one of the shady staff gets brutally slain after hours at the school. The group of youngsters put their lives at risk to investigate further, as well as the remaining staff try to stop the slayings in order to save face from their past involvement that's resurfacing. Yep, no one here are police advocates, because their egos might just be bigger than the killer's blade.


"Blood Ties" was no doubt made by a couple of diehard, aspiring movie nerds that are probably so wrapped up in celluloid that the brightest light they've seen in years is the stage light shining down on their locked away set. The result is a pure cinema invention so far gone from the real world that it feels about as overly coincidental and far fetched to be a Scooby Doo like story for adults. Depending how easy you are, it still comes with a quicker pacing and, apart from some confusing plot twists, a share is laid out to do the work for you. These amateur students are brighter than detectives that have been at it for twenty years and connect dots in a short amount of time like it was a cakewalk between their rambunctious partying and jokes.

The performers have moments of being over-the-top and exaggerated and it's hard to say if they're just badly acting or it's on purpose--possibly both--to get an instant reaction from a viewer than a gradual one that will grow. Jason Carter is the most believable of the bunch as their British accented professor named Fredericks who taught them the ropes but is now their rival in the ring. The story feels like it combines parts of an episode of a soap opera murder mystery, a generic slasher, a softcore porno and a trendy National Lampoons movie into one. The tone feels all over the place: one moment cartoonishly surreal, raunchy with sexual references and drugs, the next serious with melodrama and danger, or be it sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek. The filmmakers show they have an array of potential for future projects but it feels like they tried to make several movies at the same time without always being tuned in as to how to put them together cohesively so the audience could get some breathing room and move at the same time as it's speeding by them.


This has a lot of personality but it feels like one too many inside jokes that aren't always enough for outsiders to fully enjoy what's so funny, cool or exciting. Maybe on the third time or with a cast member to shed some light from coming on too hard and too fast the first go. Some are obvious, such as "Star Trek" and "Star Wars" rivalries, but still feel too random and misplaced regardless. A frat party where a guy does magic tricks that converts money and makes a girl's top disappear, had to do with what again? Or just little odd comments and banter that seem to come out of nowhere. Their brand of humor feels like a YouTube video with an actual budget that's more for long time friends and family of the participants that would get them more than a newcomer.

I can see where "Blood Ties" was going: to give a little pep before they get to the usual darker elements, but the late transition over doesn't always make this tension filled, shocking or scary, not to mention the audience could really care less when the characters get knocked off because they were just pure and simple entertainment monkeys prior to switching over tones. After going through the filmmakers channel surfing for the first half, it narrows down to a more serious and steadier picture as shown in the trailer--definitely misrepresented before that--where upstarting ambitions, built up reputations, tarnished pasts and the innocent and guilty have their lives hanging in the balance from an omnipresent homicidal maniac with a mask and superhuman strength. Some answers come about with an over-the-top explanation while others are brushed under the rug for brevity's sake. It includes an ambiguous finale that seems more a sacrifice for getting your senses riled in the direct moment rather than lining up 100%.




Rating: 3.5/10

Director: Nathaniel Nose (Talent)
Link: IMDB

Chawz (2009)

A boar in an un-boring small town

This is a comedy first and foremost with offbeat characters and more humor of the situational variety than the gross or perverted kind. Even during supposed serious scenes this still injects a certain amount of humor to play light on cruelty and misfortune. It's a B movie that's actually taken with a bit of merit: steadily paced instead of rushed, along with developed characters that have a share of individual personality than playing catch up or using the medium as a stepping stone. It's definitely a refreshing surprise from a country you wouldn't expect it to come out of.

In a reportedly crimeless village in South Korea, a man's grave is dug up. Little do they know that another man stumbled into it first but got taken away and killed by some mysterious thing. Meanwhile, a traffic cop named Kim Kang-soo gets transferred out of the major city of Seoul to the small village of Sam-mae-ri with more eccentric residents than he can keep up with, including his own delusional mother and on-edge, pregnant wife that he brought along. Soon enough they find some scattered body parts and have a murder investigation on their hands headed by the new hot shot, klepto, shades-at-night detective named Shin that bosses around the incompetent police captain who's more talk than show except when it comes to berrating his own men.


A Mr. Chun--who used to be an expert hunter and who's granddaughter was recently taken--claims it was an animal. The police suggest to close down the organic farming weekend for the investigation but the town's chief is having none of it as it might scare away visitors--"Jaws" anyone? Soon enough their mysterious murderer turns out to be a hulking, wild boar that's now so out of control that it brazenly attacks someone in broad daylight and with everyone around. A special hunting team is called in headed by the renowned Baek Man-bae along with his Finnish men and the chase is on to capture or kill the beast who's acquired a ravenous taste for human flesh. But that might not have been the biggest of their problems, which causes a motley crew of town's people to do what the up-to-their-ears-in-political-moves officials couldn't and put a stop to the crisis. That or get hurt trying.

As a creature feature "Chawz" doesn't stick out as a prominent special effects picture--the CGI beast is detailed to an extent but not always the main showcase--or an entirely in-your-face violent one either. Even its action scenes are kept more realistic to keep it humorous and relatable to the average person than grossly cinematic and over-the-top. This still manages to provide a share of excitement and thrills with some chase scenes that feel worked out than running back and forth like a typical survival film. It sifts through the ones that pretended versus the ones that actually have it in them. The heroes are made to purposely stumble and run away fearful but also to find some strength when opportunity calls to possibly win the upper hand.


This is a story that progressively escalates and at the same time it manages to steadily keep up with its array of characters that get a share of memorable screen time anywhere from the town witch to the drunk that now gets to prove himself instead of shamelessly letting go of who he once was. "Chawz" is definitely a fun movie that takes the participation route with its various adventures, characters and recallable scenarios that make you feel like you're there. It's a two hour film that could have been longer since you're now accustomed to the people like long lost relatives. Even the monster goes back and forth between terrorizing the people to feeling sorry for it as it might have been a product of human encroachment. They laugh, yell and get excited for better or worse at the same time as you and go through a learning process as to how to solve the exceptional predicament with some trial and error theories. Not to mention what it all means to the small town with a name that possibly has more hypocrisy to work out than a wild boar on the loose could have entirely resolved.

Rating: 8.5/10

Director: Jeong-won Shin (Sisily 2km)
Link: IMDB