Infestation (2009)

Bugs become boss

A Joe Shmoe desk jockey gets a blessing and a curse when he's moments away from being fired, only to wake up days later wrapped in a cocoon like substance with a giant man size bug that he has to fight off from getting him or his remaining co-workers. The slouching slacker Cooper teams up with the all-work, no-play boss's daughter Sara and some others of various personalities that remember only bits and pieces about that first day. The soon learn that the bugs are blind but have a sensitivity to sound, so the plan is simple: quietly walk to their relatives' residences to see if they're still alive. Easy said, easy done, as some move on and make plans, while others hold on to the past or remain still and become self-centered along the way. To make matters worse, once bitten by one of the bugs, you turn into a spider hybrid zombie that looses all reasoning skills except serving your new master who's building up a stronghold.

The story of "Infestation" is more or less a loose string of misadventures with Cooper at the helm. He jumps around to different places and meets different people along the way that have different ideas as to how to handle the epidemic of bugs: some cooperatively, some forcefully. People are dying like flies and some even backstab or posture over one another, but the atmosphere is still kept on the lighter side due to keeping it as uncomplex as possible and not lingering very long. This is a B movie but the dialogue actually feels measured out and the interaction between the cast seems practiced enough to feel natural than forcing lines. Christopher Marquette, as Cooper, definitely carries this as a leading man with a comic and sarcastic flair for the set of events, rather than going in all tough and charismatic. He's aloof and makes a gross number of mistakes but still manages to hold his own and handle a job that feels doable for his personality.

The effects were actually commendable with either the CG bugs of various design moving about to seamlessly blending the nonphysical and physical together. This is a homage film, so some parts are purposely formulaic and somewhat easy when just referencing and shuffling from place to place. While not overly dramatic, completely original or nail bitting tension filled, the film is still innovative, energetic and a lot of fun in the vain of "Shaun of the Dead" and "Zombieland" but with different creatures that spin cocoons and spill bug guts instead of gore.

Rating: 7.5/10

Director: Kyle Rankin (The Battle of Shaker Heights)
Stars: Chris Marquette, Brooke Nevin, E. Quincy Sloan, Ray Wise
Link: IMDB

Smash Cut (2009)

Homage to Herschell

Opening with a quote and a short speech from the godfather of gore Herschell Gordon Lewis himself and you should be able to guess what you're in store for: something most likely sleazy, over-the-top and thoroughly campy. Yep, yep and yep--all except nudity despite having a former porn star actress in a main role. This does have gore with purposely cheap effects to give it that seminal look (no pun intended) before some techniques were readily available. This Canadian feature is a movie-within-a-movie that delivers gags on the behind the scenes of making low budget pictures--how it's a love/hate relationship or how it can attract an artistic/sensational mind set--along with some audience/critic reactions to them. It's a heavily inspired throwback to the lower budget features in the'60s/'70s when some films were getting eccentrically experimental and then others more and more trashy by the year for new rules upstarting filmmakers could break. This isn't going to be a trailblazer by any means but more at having an unchallenged time, though possibly a little too much of an easy time to make it completely work.



I remember having a laugh with and at the director's "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" where the bearded, sandaled holy man in the modern day uses kung fu to take out evil, though "Smash Cut" is never so fun, humorous or ironic to be above what it's throwing jabs at. It tries hard--too hard--to be weird, random and a personality of its own, all the while letting you know that they know you know. Maybe in this case it was a little too close to the subject matter. Neither is it other qualities that would make it more entertaining such as mysterious or coming with elements of surprise or suspense. It's a reclusive film that leaves little room open for interpretation. The main mode it concentrates on is a brand of situational comedy with odd events thrown in surrounding its main character. It purposely tries to be a "it's so bad, it's good" movie yet doesn't fully overcome its bad points to cross back over. A lot of respect is given for the effort than the same tired thing but it feels like a failed science experiment in the end that has bits and pieces of merit but without enough charm to salvage and compensate for its total remains.

The story was most likely inspired by Lewis's "Color Me Blood Red." More modern audiences will also notice similarities to "The Last Horror Film" mixed with one of the better "Tales from the Crypt" episodes called "Easel Kill Ya." A hack director named Able Whitman (David Hess) makes terrible movies that even the scummiest of cinema goers despise. "Sooo fake!" they say. An answer literally falls into his lap when he drives a stripper home in a drunken state, only to crash and kill her. Not wanting to pass up the chance, he films her dead body and gets the respect he craves for how realistic the "props" look. As these type of pictures typically turn out, the crazed character in question can't get enough and has to do it over and over again till someone can put a stop to their increasingly diabolical ways. What was once tried and true turns over to writing the current edition of 'How to Go Through the Motions Like the Transitions Don't Matter' by just jumping into it like making toast without actually toasting for added crunch. April (Sasha Grey), the sister of the dead stripper, hires an eccentric private investigator--yep, "The Gore Gore Girls" is right--named Issac Beaumonde (Jesse Buck) and goes about questioning those who've had contact until not surprisingly they end up at Able's office to go undercover to get the evidence they need.


What starts out as somewhat intriguing with this inventive world that builds up some atmosphere and sets up its premise, starts to feel like a mishmash of thrown together scenes that lose focus and charging power as it goes on. This doesn't feel as steady or captivating as they wanted it to. I'd imagine about 50 people in the world would find this thoroughly amusing and they'd all happen to have worked on the film: fun doing it, not fun watching it. The tone of the movie goes from being elusive and strange to lowbrow and point blank with its abstract styles and overly self-aware moments. Some scenes are measured out while others attempt to get lucky by reaching. Some of the characters remain consistent with a few functions and are easier to follow and get behind, though the character development of the main star Able is whatever they wanted him to be at any given time. He's unpredictable but feels like a plot accelerator than an actual underlying personality. Hess (R.I.P. - October 7th, 2011) did the commanding jerk so well in "The Last House on the Left" and "House on the Edge of the Park." He got a chance for some more range here, just his character's motivational stages don't feel cohesive from the scene before it. Michael Berryman gets a momentary chuckle for putting on a noticeably bad wig but seems to be out of his element and playing catch up with his role. The music is the best "character" or personality in the film. It gives this another dimension with its various harmonies and odd noises that have the ability to spice up what would have been an otherwise bland scene with some memorably scored sequences.

Rating: 2/10

From Black to Red recommends instead: "Blood Feast 2": No need to see the first with this purposely campy horror film that keeps events amusing and steady with recurring food jokes and black humor dealing with the macabre.

Director: Lee Demarbre (Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter)
Stars: David Hess, Sasha Grey, Jesse Buck, Michael Berryman
Link: IMDB

Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009)

Infected by intolerance

This is a comedy first and foremost with an element of horror off to the side like the tone of "Shaun of the Dead" but unlike the actual movie itself. Where it throws a curve ball to the subgenre, is this is also a heavy satire about the society that zombies are dismantling in a place called Port Gamble back in September of 2003. This comes with a share of awkward moments, obvious puns and jokes about subjects you're not supposed to joke about. No one is safe from ridicule as the film jumps around to various sides without necessarily picking one outright. This attempts to tackle what's hot on people's minds in the last decade and probably much further back than that with politics, prejudice, religion, sexuality and if that wasn't enough, how to live your life in your family's and society's steps compared to your own way as an individual that might be flawed or "un"picture perfect. The sudden outbreak might just give them the calling they need to expose all the mentioned social constructs for what they are.

"ZMD" begins with character backgrounds before the ominous title makes headway. It shows how the town interacted with hypocrisies and contradictions despite the pleasant front. The brain eaters are ignored at first, even with bloody clothing, nibbling tendencies and a stumbling gait, until it jumps head first into neck biting time and an all-out onslaught when they attack slowly but in numbers. There are some theories on the tube of the viral outbreak, if it's a terrorist attack or a direct result of the United States government. This concentrates on a male couple who go through an ordeal with one's mother about coming out of the closet and end up at the town church to hole up. Inside there's some shuffling around of who wants to lead with two competing polititicians who both argue about personal views or by actually taking action for the greater good of the group--sounds about right--as well as a preacher who wants the situation to handle itself from a blinding divine light but then finally moves to forceful conversion. This also cuts to a woman who was born here but has an Iranian background and is looked at as a terrorist nonetheless by being tied and interrogated by her ignorant neighbor while ignoring his own family and the greater picture while at it. Her traditional but tax paying, business owning father seeks her out despite turning her back on customs that seem foreign to her.

Soon it becomes more about humans vs humans than what's supposed to be the obvious zombies vs humans. Everyone has their own interpretation about every facet of life and at the core of the film is about tolerance and intolerance of others around us that we may agree or disagree with. This plays more on a fun element where violence and a survivalist mode is only tentatively questioned when the zombies attack, rather than the usual dramatic performances and spending awhile building up to that point. Friends and relatives are killed but people quickly move on by putting their emotions aside. This does a better job than "Homecoming" that also had a political message and zombies as the backdrop but seemed to step over the line of poetic license. "ZMD" doesn't take itself too seriously and can get a viewer a little more loosened up about the iffy subjects that can, if approached wrong, turn friends into enemies and possibly neighbors and co-workers into lepers.

There are some funny gags from time to time and other lines that are humorous for ringing true. Though the film is possibly too self-aware in areas to the point of forcing a reaction from the viewer. The gay couple works a little better since you can both laugh with them and at them without the message cutting too deep or just being included as a mere token element. It would be impossible to get every aspect of every mode they're tackling. They go for a balanced approach, though often times it covers familiar ground if you've gotten into deeper discussions or arguments on the subjects already. It doesn't always do more than a written account information wise, which leaves some of the more involving debates at the credits since you're not always given more; inspiration and amusement wise is another story to go out there and do something on your own accord. Though to give it the benefit of the doubt, its subjects are like listening to a broken record for a reason and they're using a different medium to get at a potential person to listen through harmless entertainment. This seems more aimed at a younger and more impressionable audience, not to mention since zombies are trendy as of the last bunch of years and would be something of grabbing interest than a dry book or local town meeting.


What works about this movie is there is a give and take of view points and opinions in the wrap up as well instead of going all out with an agenda without some breathing room. Some realizations and revelations come to characters for a reward for watching, while others remain in their stubborn ways, or never get a chance due to the zombies getting 'em or getting turned over to a one-track mind after being bitten. Since this is a satire, part of the resolutions are left up to the viewer to decide their placing, or to just scoff the whole ordeal off. The performances are memorable in that they make the characters come alive instead of coming across as something to just perpetuate the story into a certain direction. They mostly manage to stay in context to the satiric tone though with a few areas nearly crossing the line over to drama. There's definitely blood and gore and some various weapons of choice used to put a stop to the traditional movie zombies that are lethargic. Though very little of it feels shocking or scary as it's never made out to be completely realistic in the slightest. The level of danger, even on a minor level, feels far removed despite what's being shown. In a sense it's treated like it comes with the territory rather than trying to reinvent the wheel. They could have replaced zombies with another brainless monster and it would have been most likely the same experience, which kind of takes away from the legend aspect of zombies that the title grabs you at. They do give a few nods to films before it but I'll leave that up to you to spot.

Rating: 6.5/10

Director: Kevin Hamedani
Link: IMDB

Rubber (2010)

One tire to rule them all!

This is an ambitious project that could have been one thing but decided to be multiple. It's a film that balances theory and entertainment. The former is going to put some viewer's off, but in both respects it's going to still produce some debate in whether someone thinks it's warranted or too basic and unoriginal. It starts out as a movie within a movie with the "audience" represented by spectators with binoculars and a member of the cast explaining that things in cinema often imitate life by happening for no reason. The irony is that part of what he's saying happened for a reason--yet that's all a matter of perspective, which is supposed to be the film's sublime message since so many other movies spoon feed their viewers. Truth is stranger than fiction, right? Well, maybe not so much here.

"Rubber" isn't a health conscious XXX film but rather a picture about a possessed tire that plays out like a dryly humorous horror tale with a slice of adventure. It's almost as if it was penned by another pseudonym of Stephen King with inanimate objects that move about and have psychic powers. Like King, the mundane is taken with a bit of refined thought with its own rules and special powers. The funniest aspect is it has actual character development before it sees the world despite being a basic, ordinary tire in look. It rises from the sand strewn landscape and rolls about with a curious mind of its own. Like a serial killer, it graduates up to greater threats, such as a crushed water bottle, leading to a dead scorpion, leading to a beer bottle destroyed by supernatural powers. It roams about and gets tired just like the rest of us. Our stock spectators are periodically shown with comments and complaints about what's going on as well as puns to other films.

If anything can be learned about what not to do in possession films, it's "Maximum Overdrive," with some lame excuse for what's going on and the laziest scientific reasoning behind it as if its research dodged the library and went on pure speculation. "Rubber" doesn't explain how or where it came from, but it still has plenty of basic motivations and behaviors outlined, such as forming a love interest with a young brunette, watching TV, strolling about and indiscriminately exploding peoples' heads like "Scanners" gone wild. It's such an odd premise that any context it finds itself in seems to be humorous. It's almost cartoonish at points, which makes me believe this could have been a hit series on Cartoon Network for adults with short episodes to keep the novelty going. That's probably another reason for including other aspects here since its gimmick might have worn thin otherwise. The film spends a share of time on its aesthetics with style and mood. Its lead, even though it's supposed to be an inanimate object, ends up being this oddly cool antihero with his certain ways, a distinctive roll (gait) and hip music to follow.

There are a share of shots of the surroundings to development an atmosphere. The camera angles are often very explicit about what they want you to focus on, and if you don't you'll often see a blurry background like taking off your glasses in a 3D film. It takes awhile to get used to as something can be framed up in the center yet what's around it is clear instead. It plays on some horror jokes with close-up creeping shots almost out of "Jaws," as well as a young kid that no adult believes. This is a little too unhurried at points with not much in the way of significance going on at points but it does leave some room to think about what you're viewing and also to maintain a level of intrigue to see what happens next. It plays around a little too long with its concept by showing misadventures rather than a narrative story. That seems to simultaneously help it and hold it back when not much is going on but just giving a presence or aura. Like you're just hangin' loose with it.

"Rubber" has a lot of potential and produces some fun times. The biggest let down is how its replay value becomes diminished when it tries to move from being an odd genre mesh that's off on its own, to giving a message heavy satire on Hollywood films while using an absurd plot and easy time to make you go along with that notion. It's riding a fine line between poking fun and having an ulterior motive. It's odd considering that if you caught it, you're already capable of thinking on your own anyway. So why the reminder and pat on the back? Not to mention each time you put this on you might be reminded and if something miraculously does a turn around over there in Tinseltown, this will look short sighted. If you didn't, then hopefully you at least had an amusing time and were able to interpret it in your own way. It's a film that doesn't worry about its critiques. That prior mentioned aspect might have bothered myself. Though others might be put off by its areas of contradictions in plot or ideology, slowness or lack of hitting your particular funny bone. And guess what? All of those people would be right in a way, because it's a certain type of film that takes a certain type of person to appreciate it. Then on the other hand, it takes a certain type of person to hate it as well. What's interesting here is that they equally balanced both their adorers and disqualifiers in the same film. Most movies do that by accident, though this is going to be a lot more self-aware, which even that itself can make one put up crossed arms.

One could say the film does the same things that it points out other movies as not doing, which makes it okay, right? I guess that will be up to you. "Rubber" often plays both sides of the fence and you can't always tell what side it's really on. Possibly neither; possibly both equally; possibly one side and using the other as a guise. It exercises with contradiction and its diet consists of irony. It can have both a reason and not a reason for doing something. It can be both artful and fluff. Exciting and dull. Original and unoriginal. Pretentious and simple. I have to say it was a neat idea with its share of ambitions with a goal in mind to set up a kind of ambiguity. To do that it often spoke its limitations through its mock spectators, even if that self-degradation doesn't exactly excuse everything, but it still leaves enough lingering about to have an amusing time during and then a productive discussion/debate afterwards.

Rating: 7/10

Director: Quentin Dupieux (Steak)
Stars: Stephen Spinella, Wings Hauser, Roxane Mesquida
Link: IMDB

Sundown (1990)

Part vampire, western, comedy, oh my!

"Martin" managed to reinvent the vampire in the latter portion of the '70s by bringing a simpler approach and giving the genre an offbeat spark after some films started to lose their bite with the same theatrics. Thirteen lucky years later and "Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat" is a full blown movie that rearranges conventions but also includes its very own uniqueness. It's pushing a little more away from straight horror with an off-the-wall tale with comedic overtones, though it's still just as enriched with the mythology that we've grown to love despite being done in a much more fun and less shadowy way. Enter the town of Purgatory where vampires have evolved to live peacefully out west. During the day they dab on sunscreen, wear UV glasses and cover up with stylish dress, including overblown hats that have brims just shy of umbrellas on their heads. There are rules and consequences in place, such as not killing humans, which right from the getgo is broken when one of them loses his temper.

A human named David Harrison (Jim Metzler) is coming to town to work on a malfunction at the Hemotechnics plant that produces synthetic blood, along with his wife Sarah (Morgan Brittany) and two girls to make a family adventure out of it. Easy said, easy done, though David has a past rivalry with a vampire named Shane (Maxwell Caulfied) who runs the plant and has an eye on his family. Soon enough the Harrisons encounter some odd occurances from bats to secret passageways that lead to a man sleeping in a coffin named Jozek Mardulak (David Carradine) who so happens to own Purgatory and be the one with the main vision for its inception. Except some of the town's people don't want to live a quaint life, instead of enjoying a warm meal of the real stuff directly from the source. A revolution is on the rise with the Quaker looking Mr. Jefferson (John Ireland) on one side with his posse of special gun-totting recruits, and on the other with most of the town's original inhabitants behind Mardulak.

"Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat" has a flair for the theatrical either with its bombastic music, built up camera shots to its performances and dress. It's a one of a kind film off in its own little world with eccentric and memorable characters. It has a strange atmosphere in that every other person feels from a different time period or location, from 19th century on up to '80s/'90s trends. There's the three hillbilly pals each with white beards at the gas station, a Jamaican cop who runs the jail and even an old German couple at the general store. Bruce Campbell plays Robert: a bumbling professor looking type with a recognizable family name. His car broke down and he uses the excuse to search out Jozek Mardulak with the help of a bombshell waitress, Sandy (Deborah Foreman), that's got her heart more than her teeth set on him.

The movie is more a series of events that leads up to a somewhat overdrawn vampire vs vampire gunslinging battle for the latter half just like the wild west except with high powered weaponry. Apart from a decapitation and some gun shot wounds, this isn't over-the-top gory as the violence falls more in context to the story. The movie's strength is its whimsical charm, not necessarily an intricate storyline. Events happen to further its personality rather than being layered or complex, which makes it all around easy. It almost feels like a family friendly rated R film, as there's no nudity and situations aren't as crude as others with the tag. Since there's a share of characters to show their varied personalities, the pacing often moves somewhat moderately compared to other films. It takes on one unveiling at a time until closer to the end. It keeps up the mystery but doesn't make this a freight train of revelations, though still diverting and loads of fun in the meantime to the point of wishing you were part of the gang. Like director Anthony Hickox's "Waxwork," this is another ambitious film with a little bit of slapstick and a sense for the cinematic experience rather than going for realism. You'll recognize Deborah Foreman and Dana Ashbrook with some roles here too. Likewise, "Sundown" creates an enveloping environment that isn't anything but pure escapism.

Rating: 7.5/10

Director: Anthony Hickox (Waxwork)
Stars: Jim Metzler, Morgan Brittany, Maxwell Caulfield, David Carradine, Bruce Campbell, Deborah Foreman
Link: IMDB


Quotes:

"I can't believe this. I just can't believe this. No one is gonna believe us! I wouldn't believe us! Who is gonna believe that some relic with a sombrero knocked off Tom's head with a backhand?"

"Your parents must be very romantic."
"They're very horny."

"Well, it could be your big night tonight."
"I'll be up as soon as I'm finished."
"You promise?"
"Threat."

"There's only two things that can happen to you in Purgatory. They can kill you, or they can turn you into a vampire."

"We feed on humans."
"Like a hundred other parasites. Like tapeworms, like fleas...like fungus. That's how special vampires are."

The Untold Story (1993)

Brutal, yet goofy

This movie truly has an odd atmosphere with cheesy stock synthesizer music, mixed with goofy humor and then to contradict all that it includes brutal murder, sneaky cannibalism and a vicious rape. This opens up with a man getting his head smashed against a wall and burned alive from a heated gambling feud. The perpetrator changes his name and appearance and heads from Hong Kong to Macau. Fast forward eight years later to 1986, at the shore of a beach where severed arms and legs are found and detectives are called in to investigate. The film uses a framing technique that has a different tone on both sides, where you get to see somewhat silly plain clothes detectives fumbling around with evidence as if it's their first day on the job, and then on the other side the character Wong Chi Hang (Anthony Wong) seems like a dead-serious, manipulative and disturbing person that runs the Eight Immortals Restaurant. He cheats at gambling, tries to get a lawyer to break the law and then kills a worker on a whim for spreading rumors about him--a real class act. Since they don't waste anything in China, why should a killer, too? He starts to chop up the body and make barbeque "pork" buns with human meat as the secret ingredient for the patrons at the restaurant. "Hey fatso! You like the barbeque buns?" Wong asks a customer who responds back with glee: "Delicious! I can't stop eating them."

About the only technical crime work the cops do is get a clue from fingerprints from the severed arm at the beach that leads them to the restaurant. Unlike all these CSI type shows on TV in the modern day, this isn't going to be heavily or even moderately researched at that on the crime aspect. Wong worked at the restaurant prior and then apparently took it over by buying out the previous owner Cheng Lam. Currently a fearful woman has worked there for only two months and just thinks of him as a nasty boss. The head inspector isn't completely fooled by the charming man on the surface who feeds the rest of the detectives with his special barbeque buns. They stake him out and wait for a suspicious move. Soon enough he throws out evidence and they're on him just before he tries to flee. The latter half takes place in a prison and then a hospital where Wong gets beaten by inmates and then cops. Now, I'm not sure if there's a rivalry going on with the providences of Macau and Hong Kong, figuring this takes place in Macau but was financed and mostly shot in the HK. Similar to every other time a Japanese guy is in a Chinese film he's made to be entirely cruel or inferior. It seems a little past the point of poetic license as the supposed good guys here, being the Macau police, are made to be almost clueless at times, with not wanting to do their job at first, mistreating female coworkers to the point of harassment, the lead inspector taking credit for his underlings as well as being loose with prostitute-like dressed woman that he brings to work, and then instead of finding real clues they use brute tactics and manipulation to get him to confess.

Like some other Hong Kong films, "Untold Story"--aka "Human Pork Chop"--doesn't always stick to its genre type or smoothly blend the multiple tones together, so there might be some misplaced humor to an unaccustomed westerner. It's been like that since the day and age of chop socky, where a serious and violent duel will take place and the very next scene will be a slapstick one. With "Untold Story," it's hard to tell if you should be light heartedly laughing or afraid, or both at the same time. The tone is really that up in the air, and it seems that both directors had a different way they wanted to make it and compromised with both ways at once. Though what makes the experience different than the usual crime fare is you're not always sure who to root for. The bad guy is someone you'd never want to meet in person but yet you can't keep your eyes off of what he'll do next, even if it involves innocent people getting killed--give us more!

The cops aren't done a service here and are essentially written to lighten the load. They also fall kind of short on keeping the mystery and crime angle intriguing. Anthony Wong plays Mr. Wong with a totally changed persona if you've seen some of his other films. He portrays a degenerate who leeches off of other people in the most extreme sense and they make him entirely creepy while at it. When this movie gets down to the dirty stuff, it does deliver, whether it be with a cruel rape scene that doesn't involve the usual penetration but still the humiliation, to not hesitating when killing little children with blood spray to show for it. I remember first seeing this back on a grainy VHS tape, which made it even more sordid. Though the scenes with carnage are the main things that got seared into my head. When I picked it up on DVD and started to pay attention, some of the other things going on here aren't that memorable and as a result it's not something that thoroughly flows in the most gravitating order it could have when it comes to replay value. First time around: remembered for being horrific and unsettling. After that: you'll wish there was more to it on all fronts.

Rating: 6/10

Director: Danny Lee, Herman Yau
Stars: Anthony Wong, Danny Lee, Emily Kwan, Fui-On Shing
Link: IMDB

Waxwork (1988)

What won't kill you, will only make you...waxier

This is a horror-comedy that's incredibly tongue-in-cheek to the point of poking fun at other thought-to-be sacrilegious horror films and even itself while at it. "Waxwork" is an '80s version of "House of Wax" meets "House of Frankenstein" where all the famous cinematic monsters and more are combined into an experience that gives an assorted buffet of the macabre. It has some trendy tunes, hairdos, phrases and clothing, not to mention makeshift acting, that makes it feel exactly like '88, but that's not to say it doesn't hold up still due to being persistently fun because there are just so many subjects inventively dabbled at once than being merely reference points.

Two college ladies--one seductive, the other reserved--are taking a neighborly stroll when they notice a discreet and ominous building with the sign "Waxwork" that they've never seen before. Suddenly an odd looking man appears, later named Mr. Lincoln (David Warner), with multi-colored dress and invites them to a private midnight showing that includes their friends. They don't know what to expect but show up anyway with two other guys--one spoiled rich, the other token sarcastic--and meet a midget butler at the front door and a tall man who can't get orders right. Seems a joke, right? Yeah, that's what they thought.

In a large showroom they find roped off sections with an assortment of life-like wax statues ranging from Frankenstein, Dracula, Phantom of the Opera, werewolves, axe-murderers, aliens, mummies and even Marquis de Sade. Soon enough some of the observers turn victim when they want to get a closer look at the set pieces and end up getting transported into a changed world where it comes alive. Inside the locked in portal they have to relive the final horror of the depicted waxwork set and then end up being a permanent fixture with none the wiser looking on. After splitting up, the rich kid and prude lose sight of their two friends and are told they left early. Suspicious, Sarah (Deborah Foreman) and Mark (Zach Galligan)--with the help of detectives and Mark's grandfather--find out that Mr. Lincoln had a greater, far more diabolical plan in motion than just enclosing their friends bodies with wax.

"Waxwork" has gags, gore and a sense of adventure. This isn't scary, but it is still pretty gruesome at times with make-up effects and plays on a certain atmosphere that still rolls in the fog, shadows and a gravitating score over top when calls for it. Part of the tone is going for mock theatrics, such as an over-the-top sound effect with just a door opening or someone else not taking a spooky scene at first seriously, that is until they see red. This has some slap stick gags, such as a man tied to a table with the flesh of his leg missing but the nerves exposed and then rats and other people accidentally falling on it. It's ambitious to say the least, but manages to maintain a steady balance to rope a viewer deep down into a well of escapism dwells. Even with all of its homages to every other genre pic under the full moon, it still feels its own experience enough to be more than just a short-lived gimmick for the times.

Rating: 8/10

Director: Anthony Hickox
Stars: Zach Galligan, Deborah Foreman, David Warner
Link: IMDB

Hatchet II (2010)

The return of blood and honey

"Hatchet II" should instead be called "1.5" as it's a direct continuation right after the events from the last scene in part one with Marybeth face-to-face with the muscular and deformed maniac Victor Crowley. After getting away, a deal is struck between Reverend Zombie (Tony Todd) and Marybeth (Danielle Harris) to go back into Crowley's lair and take him out and retrieve her father and brother's remains along with a group of hunters as their backup posse. Little do the shady, redneck looking locals know what they're really getting into apart from being blinded by the prospect of money but unaware of the bloody massacre last night on Honey Island Swamp.

The survival horror aspects are handled better than the first. Marybeth is still searching for resolution as well as the newly met twin is looking for his brother, while there are others returning that originally slighted Victor Crowley, and then there's the handsome reward on the line that people need despite the danger. It gives the story some more layers and certain deaths more meaning, while others, of course, are just included for pure entertainment fodder. The killings are still ridiculously gory, though the tone slightly shifted from less of the over-the-top cartoon side to a more darker and dramatic side with some twisted humor still intact that is more tongue-in-cheek than laugh out loud. Some characters are solely here to inject feeling, while others simply a token comedic angle. There's a little more suspense concentrated on with some wailing cries and build up before Crowley comes stepping out from a bush or tree to cruelly reign in his buckets of blood terror.

"Hatchet II" is a short and mostly direct experience that keeps the traction forward once it starts moving past the gradually paced introduction phase. Danielle Harris is new to the role but picks right back up and effectively plays a traumatized and tormented young woman looking for resolve. This still plays on horror conventions and doesn't provide anything substantially new, though you get a little more back-story--with "Tales from the Crypt" cheese written all over it with an ill wife, infidelity and supernatural curses--and some of the death scenes are inventive in their maliciousness. The exact rules to the game are never fully outlined apart from echoing that he's a "repeater," which takes away from the challenge and makes him indestructible. After watching the characters go through trial and error in the first, this time around it feels partly like a formula and that you're being strung along till there's another movie. Compared to the first, part two concentrated on more atmosphere with the settings getting darker but while still balancing a somewhat fun experience in between that fairs a little better.

Rating: 6/10

Director: Adam Green (Frozen)
Stars: Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Tony Todd
Link: IMDB

Hatchet (2006)

A one way tour

"Hatchet" is a horror tale that takes place in New Orleans like "Candyman 2," "Dracula 2000," "The Skeleton Key" and even "Interview with the Vampire," except the tone shifts away from the ominous shadows captured in the past and goes in and out of slapstick, almost cartoonish comedy with gruesome blood and gore shown to still make it a sadistic ride.

New Orleans, Louisiana, or NOLA, is home to the fleur de lis, festive masks, plastic beads and according to this movie Victor Crowley who haunts a particular stretch of swampland most locals stay clear of out fear of flesh eating alligators or just plain old superstitions--sometimes both. A couple of buddies are living up the party life in the French Quarter, when two break off for a haunted tour on the bayou that looks about as hokey as they come. Their tour guide is a Victorian dressed Asian guy with fake local accent, laughable theatrics and drives them around in the "Scare Bus" and "Scare Boat." We get the goofy young dude, token black hipster, quiet woman, enthusiastic older couple, two bimbos--one smart, one dumb--and a horny guy to film them topless with his camera any chance he gets.

On the way back from the unbelieving tour--due the guide reading off cue cards and providing exaggerated information--the boat gets stuck. When one of them steps off a ravenous gator leaps out to take a nibble but is stopped when the quiet woman suddenly pulls a gun. She's carrying because she is looking for her siblings who suspiciously went missing a few days before. The rest of the group soon jumps off to land when the boat starts to sink, thus starting the second half. The woman proceeds to tell them one ghost story they soon believe: that the disfigured Victory Crowley actually exists and they're all in for heaps of trouble if they don't stick together and avoid his blood-craving, vengeful hatchet.


One by one they're hunted by the "Elephant Man" on roids. The film has some extremely gory death scenes, though quickly turns into a bunch of misguided idiots running scared back and forth in the woods as Crowley literally pops out of nowhere to go "arrggghhh!" They have to figure out how the rules--that is if there are any rules--work to kill him before they all get taken alive in a heinously bloody fashion. Never hearing of Murphy's law, they never once get the hint to check if he's dead after wounding him at different times. "Hatchet" is certainly not boring and actually has some funny and crude humor with some well timed out chemistry for comedy. I felt this was its strength along with some over-the-top gory scenes that put some slashers of the '80s to shame due to MPAA guidelines and this being the day and age of the unrated to sell DVDs. Though the survival horror part towards the second half feels unrefined, as if the filmmakers made it up as they went in a rush like they ran out of money or ideas. Even if it's giving obvious homage to slashers and is going for intentional humor, that still doesn't excuse it so easily.

Rating: 5/10

Director: Adam Green (Coffee & Donuts)
Stars: Kane Hodder, Joel David Moore, Deon Richmond, Tony Todd
Link: IMDB