Final Destination 5 (2011)

Death's pissed for the 5th time!

At one time, before it became the franchise and formula it is today, "Final Destination" was entirely fresh and new. It created a twist to the revived slasher genre that was building up and starting to die off again when it hit theaters in 2000. There were teens and they got knocked off one by one just the same, but it had such an ingenious reason for doing so: a deadly shadow was following them around to collect owed lives for dodging its originally intended plan. How are you supposed to escape that? An invisible killer that can be anywhere at anytime, not just some psycho that you can at least run through the woods from, or get on a plane and fly to some other country. But here this is the supernatural we're talking about, something that's probably as ancient as the first people to accidentally die doing an everyday thing like eating the wrong plant and berries or running off a cliff chasing a sabertooth.

"I had a vision," Sam (Nicholas D'Agosto) said as he's being grilled by the no-nonsense agent Block (Courtney B. Vance) before all the facts are in about the bridge collapse that he and his friends got away from just in the nick of time. At first the eight survivors don't think anything more than they're just lucky, that is until the snide, low-toned William Bludworth (Tony Todd) shows up with ambiguity because he either has a message to tell--or is it a warning?--or he's just passing by to do his job as the local coroner. Each of the other movies had a gal and a guy who tried to prevent each accident but, of course, were always just too late. This plays on that somewhat with a cell phone call here and a show up there, but instead proposed a new rule that would allow said person to accumulate someone else's life total if you kill them. It creates a moral dilemma and inner tension to the story, though it got quickly stopped by its own creative hand when it pulled the plug on itself for a shock--a shock that might just make the audiences' mouth do an "Ohhh."

There are a few aspects thrown in to give the new set of characters--or should we say victims?--personalities, such as the young foreman named Nathan (Arlen Escarpeta) at the factory catching flack from the union rep, and Sam going through a split decision with a far away internship or a life with his girlfriend named Molly (Emma Bell) in New York. Though the thriller-like pacing often moved so fast as to run over its own dramatic scenes at the same time as building them up. It feels like a few back and forth views on what the filmmakers thought the flow should have been in the editing room. One foot in to make them memorable, one foot out because it's going to eventually not matter.

If you have no recollection of the other films, then this might be a more titillating experience. You can still definitely count on it to deliver the gory bits but it didn't always capitalize on the nail-bitting anxiety and anticipation of something chasing the characters. The performers often act oblivious, helpless or like hamsters in a cage with something so much bigger to the point of being a condescending bully looming over top that they can't even focus on it with their eyes. The other films had a certain nervousness at the forefront about them, especially the first film, in that Death could be anywhere at anytime. "FD3" at least proposed the question of: Would you want to know or not know when you're going to die? Because knowing comes with extreme unease and paranoia, and not knowing comes with numbness, even though you don't get to say your goodbyes. "FD5" could have taken it to the hilt but plays on a tense and release outlook instead. It has a number of quips and one-liners to get the audience loosened up--especially with P.J. Byrne and David Koechner--but it makes the shadowy, people-dying-left-and-right experience less oppressive than made out to be to cater to the portion of the audience who's a cross-armed skeptic of the supernatural.

The gore traps look pretty grisly and can often catch you by unawares. Though some deaths aren't always playing on something that would be a relating experience to a general audience, since they have to tap into what hasn't been done beforehand. It creates some distancing from the screen, as the first and second film had more relating elements that made seemingly innocent areas now have a deadly shadow cast across in your mind: a kitchen, a bathroom, a stove, an elevator, crossing the street. For instance, here, a factory with dangerous machinery is only going to lead to dangerous accidents or most people aren't going to touch a gymnasium.

The cinematography and the picture quality looked great on screen compared to the slapped together job "FD4" was. This time around the new director has the technical side well worked through and used the 3D aspect to its advantage at points with various objects actually projecting out compared to the depthless job the recent "Harry Potter" had and "Captain America" with only so many things popping out. "FD5" still feels more a ritual and routine than a complete refresher. Though there's still some sadistic fun to mine and effort put into this as a fifth installment, even if the novelty is diluted if you've kept up since the beginning or at least watched the previous films a few times.

Rating: 5.5/10

Director: Steven Quale (second unit director "Titanic," "Avatar")
Stars: Nicholas D'Agosto, Emma Bell, Miles Fisher, Ellen Wroe, Jacqueline MacInnes Wood, P.J. Byrne, Alren Escarpeta, David Koechner, Courtney B. Vance, Tony Todd
Link: IMDB

Final Destination 3 (2006)

Another batch of people and accidents

From playing on fears of planes to automobiles to here carnivals and even trains--minus Steve Martin--"FD3" picks right back up with a fresh batch of survivors that are going to turn victims for our sadistic viewing pleasure. There's another sight-seeing person--borrowed from the Frank Black "Millennium" template--who has the premonition ability that we all wish we had, as most of us get it in the end only with a stupid grin on our faces by thinking: So, that's how it's going to happen?

"I was having that feeling like deja vu, you know? Except for something that hasn't happened yet," the late teen, Wendy, says after going out with her friends to snap a couple of photos for the yearbook at the local fair, along with to take part in all the seemingly safe rides before stepping out into the real world after high school. She feels off and not just from the smell of carney food and strange atmosphere, but something truly isn't right. All this boils inside her and she eventually freaks after getting a vivid premonition, which causes her to narrowly escape a grim fate along with several "lucky" others that as viewers by now know are only prolonging the inevitable.

Caring for the collective ensemble of characters at this point is not at the front of your mind, as most of 'em aren't even given personalities beyond the surface. They still manage to take their roles somewhat seriously instead of just going through the motions, and that makes it a little less straightforward than it could have ended up being. Similar to the template of the first two films, a gal and a guy--this time the boyfriend of Wendy's lost friend named Kevin--have to analyze her photos that came with a few clues as to what's in store for those that escaped Death's clutches. Of course, the others don't believe it, as they think it's just a coincidence, which the audience--with hands rubbed diabolically together--knows that their unwilling ability to accept the facts is only going to perpetuate the pileup of bodies.

We live in a world where not everything is secure and foolproof. Essentially every waking day is a risk and the message here is that you might as well not know when your time is up or how it's going to happen as it comes with extreme anxiety and paranoia. Think less along the lines of nail bitting and sweating at the brow and more closer to a homeless man with a crack addiction walking through Harlem with a C note in his pocket. Sometimes it feels like there's a little less tact and subtley involved and it kind of takes away from any building tension but this still manages to deliver a sudden, shocking gory depiction when the victim finally gets it. Because let's face it, they did piss off Death and after all we're made mostly of water and all those sharp and heavy objects that we've constructed in the modern day came back to bite us in ways we never expected.

"FD3" plays on the whole "safe danger" aspect we get so used to, where something is done so many times that you accept that there's no real threat. That optimistic phrase you always remind yourself about: What's the worst that could happen? Comes with a few gruesome and somewhat creative answers for the next time some person spouts that one without thinking ahead. Director/writer James Wong and writer/producer Glen Morgan team up again from the first film. The tone has a little less dark humor and takes itself a little more seriously than the second film, even with some extra time given to think about the after effects of death, such as guilt and denial, even if it's not put in a way that's extremely ponderous stuff. There are some effective scenes, though for the most part this isn't entirely scary as it also has tendency to break itself down and make fun of its very own concept past the point of just being skeptical.

"FD3" isn't exactly producing anything more than "FD2" in that it follows a template that you can rely on rather than goes beyond expectations. The abrupt ending could have used some more work as it fell right into what you thought it was going to do if you've seen the others and by now feels a little cheap. Otherwise this might be an old trick to a new audience if you haven't seen the other films. Though it's still not entirely underwhelming in that they're still working hard at delivering gory and inventive death scenes with pretty teens. Destruction of beauty is always a beautiful thing in itself, don't you think?

Rating: 5/10

Director: James Wong (The One)
Stars: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ryan Merriman, Tony Todd
Link: IMDB

Final Destination 2 (2003)

An insurance company's worst nightmare

The film here began the franchise that would take the death-trap idea and turn it into a full fledged formula and a no brainer. "Final Destination 2" is a very quick experience with very little getting in the way to think about as it's mostly laid out on the table and goes for straightforward entertainment that meanwhile causes the audience to do nothing more than aim for the bottom of the popcorn container. Compared to the first, this essentially amped up the deaths and the dark humor by even taking a poke at itself, and then steps even further away from reality and never lets the viewer forget they're watching a movie in the meantime.

"I saw it...there were bodies everywhere...there were logs. I saw it...it just happened," says Kimberly (A.J. Cook) to the officer after getting a premonition of a pileup to come on the interstate and taking the initiative to block the way with her car for those about to turn onto the road. Sure enough massive explosions and metal grinds on metal as the people behind her, that were initially annoyed with the delay, now think they're some of the luckiest people on Earth to narrowly escape death. Or so they think. They're taken to the police station for statements with one thing leading to another and they're reminded of the flight 180 incident. They maintain their denials and laugh it off while then attempting to go about their lives...except an inexplicable shadow keeps following them with accidents just a awaitin' to happen. This doesn't even try and hide the fact that it could be mere coincidence, as Death is furious this time around for missing loose ends that also tie into the survivors of Flight 180. The story is about as simple as Kimberly and the earlier officer quickly suspending their disbelief to figure out the clues for their and hopefully everyone else's survival. Including more paralyzing, I-feel-what-they-feel visions occurring and some surprise meet ups with past characters from the first: one defensive but then ready to help, the other sums up an opinion with: "Such fire in you now. People are always most alive just before they die."

Apart from some misplaced jokes, there's no prancing around, as the ground work is gone through fairly quickly and then this goes right for the throat in inventive over-the-top gory ways that would make a front page news article every time. They still manage to pull out some surprises as to which direction it's coming from and then when it happens it's shown in all of its juicy, not-for-those-on-a-full-stomach glory. The characters with the least background development usually means they're going to be victims, and then the ones gone into more are going to survive the longest. It's a horror movie in the slasher vain and this isn't really trying to invent anything new, just capitalizing at this point at what they already have. It's the type of movie where you know exactly what you're going to get and that part makes it somewhat superficial but at the same time still easy fun. The highly elaborate traps that would excite the most morbidly curious engineer, are set up for the audience to see them getting it beforehand because lets face it: the gorier the merrier and no one cares for their well-being and safety. It's sadistic and it unabashedly knows it. "FD2" can almost be looked at like a lynch party where the onlookers have froth at the mouth and venom spewing out, and aren't leaving without some blood being shed.

Rating: 6.5/10

Director: David R. Ellis
Stars: A.J. Cook, Michael Landes, Ali Larter, Tony Todd
Link: IMDB

Final Destination (2000)

A slasher in disguise

Apart from some stiffness or misplaced ailment when stepping out of bed in the morning, have you ever had the inkling that there was just something different about that day from others? Not just a fleeting feeling or a sense of change, but a strong emotion that twists and turns your guts because you believe something is going to actually happen of grave consequence? Most die with either a quick surprise or complete numbness when a sudden, freak accident catches them by unawares, though this is a story that swallows up peoples' souls and spits them out on the other side like a revolving assembly line. "Final Destination" involves a young man that takes the premonitions and warning signs seriously and perseveres through paranoia and accepting the unacceptable to not get taken up by cold, dark and incorporeal hands that are just a reach away.

"Live it up Alex, you've got your whole life ahead of you," his dad tells him just before a senior trip with his New York high school pals going to France for the summer. From the night before with an icy chill, to various omens that he picks up on going to the airport for what's supposed to be a fun trip--such as the accident prone, dead-as-a-door-knob John Denver spouting tunes in the restroom--Alex (Devon Sawa) doesn't just pass up on what his anxious nerves tell him. However, if something out there was trying to warn him any more, it might have slapped him in the face because it's everywhere he turns. But then again, most of us are skeptics to the supernatural until we see it with our own eyes and feel it with all of our being, simply because we don't want to look stupid going out on a limb in front of others unless we're positively sure. Alex ends up being right as rain, but dead wrong about the thunder with the forces he's messing with after an accident involving the plane he just got kicked off of with several others from going ballistic from a sweaty nightmare when he dozes off before departing.

Soon enough the safety boards, FBI and media encroach with their questions and speculations. "I got this feeling..this weird feeling," Alex says, because even though he gave a sort of premonition, he still seems just as confused, not to mention lucky as the worried family members arrive to take home their loved ones in one piece. For the seven survivors themselves, the whys and guilt that come with escaping and being that close to death are pouring down, not to mention with anger and confusion directed at the source of rescue. After a supposed accident with someone who survived from the plane, Alex suspects something amiss and that there might be a design or pattern to it all that he feels he can crack. Though after breaking into the funeral home to see if he can rule out foul play he meets the director who gives him a chilling warning, "In death, there are no accidents, no coincidences, no mishaps, and no escapes." So much for the heroic rescue attempt, which instead turns into people desperately running from something that's not entirely in physical form and with the only thing on their side being that the entity plays with a kind of sportsmanship just before its take-them-out-one-by-one game.

Like "X-Files" and "Millennium" that director James Wong and co-writer Glen Morgan were involved on, the lighting is often dark and the camera shots are often panned with dramatic music in the background. Shirley Walker (RIP) provides a score that resembles what she did on "Batman: The Animated Series" with big, bombastic and almost thumping hits, along with higher pitched horns and strings overtop to provide tension. Instead of playing out as a straight horror this also includes some elements of a drama/thriller to lend a hand to the steady but also escalating pacing. There are a lot wink-wink moments here that are going more for the theatrical than the realistic. It gives the audience a knowing-it's-coming point of view that gives this a sadistic sense of humor with a person being completely oblivious themselves. It's a movie that takes the omens over-the-top, but after awhile it makes you start to suspect danger at every little nuance and encroaching path. It makes every movement important and detrimental to the story, which creates a constant red alert atmosphere that can be carried anywhere whether that be night or day or in the safety of your own home: a regular bathroom, an innocent kitchen, just walking down the street. Not many movies are capable of every second being taken up with its concept, not to mention having the audience be an active participant, including Easter eggs throughout.

"Final Destination" isn't without its flaws, as it has some cliches, hit and miss performances to the point of caricature and some of the dialogue isn't perfect. Ali Larter, as Clear, has the most range with a background that gives her strength of character, Seann William Scott overdoes the whole goofy dude thing as Billy, Kerr Smith as Carter performs as a one-note jock and Devon Sawa plays the role of Alex a little spaced out at times. Though the thing this does have down is it provides an engaging cinematic experience and an original concept with a steady tone. This isn't just a straightforward march to the extermination chambers as some unexpected left hooks are thrown to make the fight more interesting. The sequels and spoofs have since capitalized on it to turn it into a recognizable formula but when it was in theaters it was definitely a fresh spin on an old take. This had the last word in a series of teens-on-the-cover-box slashers around 2000. It added a twist to that straightforward convention made infamous in the '80s, as the killer here is practically invisible compared to physical beings that you at least have a combative chance of escaping from like in "Scream," "Halloween" sequels, "Urban Legend" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer." It was more similar to what "Fallen" did but focused on the carnage, and came with less biblical themes and provided a different age demographic.

Rating: 8/10

Director: James Wong (The X-Files writer/producer)
Stars: Devon Sawa, Ali Larter, Kerr Smith, Valerie Lewton, Tony Todd
Link: IMDB

Hatchet II (2010)

The return of blood and honey

"Hatchet II" should instead be called "1.5" as it's a direct continuation right after the events from the last scene in part one with Marybeth face-to-face with the muscular and deformed maniac Victor Crowley. After getting away, a deal is struck between Reverend Zombie (Tony Todd) and Marybeth (Danielle Harris) to go back into Crowley's lair and take him out and retrieve her father and brother's remains along with a group of hunters as their backup posse. Little do the shady, redneck looking locals know what they're really getting into apart from being blinded by the prospect of money but unaware of the bloody massacre last night on Honey Island Swamp.

The survival horror aspects are handled better than the first. Marybeth is still searching for resolution as well as the newly met twin is looking for his brother, while there are others returning that originally slighted Victor Crowley, and then there's the handsome reward on the line that people need despite the danger. It gives the story some more layers and certain deaths more meaning, while others, of course, are just included for pure entertainment fodder. The killings are still ridiculously gory, though the tone slightly shifted from less of the over-the-top cartoon side to a more darker and dramatic side with some twisted humor still intact that is more tongue-in-cheek than laugh out loud. Some characters are solely here to inject feeling, while others simply a token comedic angle. There's a little more suspense concentrated on with some wailing cries and build up before Crowley comes stepping out from a bush or tree to cruelly reign in his buckets of blood terror.

"Hatchet II" is a short and mostly direct experience that keeps the traction forward once it starts moving past the gradually paced introduction phase. Danielle Harris is new to the role but picks right back up and effectively plays a traumatized and tormented young woman looking for resolve. This still plays on horror conventions and doesn't provide anything substantially new, though you get a little more back-story--with "Tales from the Crypt" cheese written all over it with an ill wife, infidelity and supernatural curses--and some of the death scenes are inventive in their maliciousness. The exact rules to the game are never fully outlined apart from echoing that he's a "repeater," which takes away from the challenge and makes him indestructible. After watching the characters go through trial and error in the first, this time around it feels partly like a formula and that you're being strung along till there's another movie. Compared to the first, part two concentrated on more atmosphere with the settings getting darker but while still balancing a somewhat fun experience in between that fairs a little better.

Rating: 6/10

Director: Adam Green (Frozen)
Stars: Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Tony Todd
Link: IMDB

Hatchet (2006)

A one way tour

"Hatchet" is a horror tale that takes place in New Orleans like "Candyman 2," "Dracula 2000," "The Skeleton Key" and even "Interview with the Vampire," except the tone shifts away from the ominous shadows captured in the past and goes in and out of slapstick, almost cartoonish comedy with gruesome blood and gore shown to still make it a sadistic ride.

New Orleans, Louisiana, or NOLA, is home to the fleur de lis, festive masks, plastic beads and according to this movie Victor Crowley who haunts a particular stretch of swampland most locals stay clear of out fear of flesh eating alligators or just plain old superstitions--sometimes both. A couple of buddies are living up the party life in the French Quarter, when two break off for a haunted tour on the bayou that looks about as hokey as they come. Their tour guide is a Victorian dressed Asian guy with fake local accent, laughable theatrics and drives them around in the "Scare Bus" and "Scare Boat." We get the goofy young dude, token black hipster, quiet woman, enthusiastic older couple, two bimbos--one smart, one dumb--and a horny guy to film them topless with his camera any chance he gets.

On the way back from the unbelieving tour--due the guide reading off cue cards and providing exaggerated information--the boat gets stuck. When one of them steps off a ravenous gator leaps out to take a nibble but is stopped when the quiet woman suddenly pulls a gun. She's carrying because she is looking for her siblings who suspiciously went missing a few days before. The rest of the group soon jumps off to land when the boat starts to sink, thus starting the second half. The woman proceeds to tell them one ghost story they soon believe: that the disfigured Victory Crowley actually exists and they're all in for heaps of trouble if they don't stick together and avoid his blood-craving, vengeful hatchet.


One by one they're hunted by the "Elephant Man" on roids. The film has some extremely gory death scenes, though quickly turns into a bunch of misguided idiots running scared back and forth in the woods as Crowley literally pops out of nowhere to go "arrggghhh!" They have to figure out how the rules--that is if there are any rules--work to kill him before they all get taken alive in a heinously bloody fashion. Never hearing of Murphy's law, they never once get the hint to check if he's dead after wounding him at different times. "Hatchet" is certainly not boring and actually has some funny and crude humor with some well timed out chemistry for comedy. I felt this was its strength along with some over-the-top gory scenes that put some slashers of the '80s to shame due to MPAA guidelines and this being the day and age of the unrated to sell DVDs. Though the survival horror part towards the second half feels unrefined, as if the filmmakers made it up as they went in a rush like they ran out of money or ideas. Even if it's giving obvious homage to slashers and is going for intentional humor, that still doesn't excuse it so easily.

Rating: 5/10

Director: Adam Green (Coffee & Donuts)
Stars: Kane Hodder, Joel David Moore, Deon Richmond, Tony Todd
Link: IMDB